So how does everyone go about it, or wish people went about it with them (heh complex sentence there)? I'm talking about telling them off when they ask you out, that sort of thing, for any reason at all. I got just a long "it's not you, it's me" reply from the girl I liked before, so I pursued the matter and got her to say "I just don't feel romantic for you." I don't think bullshitting people in this case is the way to go, and I mean at all. Don't go over the top and say "you're ugly and you have no future you stupid f*ck now get out of my face," that's just something an asshole would do. I think maybe saying "No, sorry, don't want to" would be the best way, but I'm probably wrong from my complete lack of inexperience in telling people off. As a sidenote a hot girl I haven't spoken to for months walked up to me, slapped me on the shoulder and said "why Ian you've gotten so tall!" Heeheeeeheeee......
Where I come from, when we want to break up with a girl, we walk up to them and say -- "I break with thee, I break with thee, I break with thee." Then we throw dog poopie on their shoes. Peace. Copywrite: Steve Martin - Used Without Permission
It really depends on who it is.... It is better to tell the truth. Tell her you are not interested dating her but you still would like to be friends. Say hi to her when she walks by. Just don't make a big deal out of it. Pretend nothing happened.
Take it from Joe "Pathetic excuse for a man". I'm sure he's been dumped hundreds of times, given that he has the personality of rancid butter.
I am quite amused by this. I can't see why someone would want to sit in front of a computer on Friday night just to slag off an anonymous person. I am going to dinner. See you guys later. Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image! Have a good weekend Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image!
So Xev what's your opinion on the subject? Adam I agree. It sucks but some ways have to be better than others.
I hate it when girls give bs answers to you, just tell the truth, you're not interested and why. I also hate it when people lie to make you feel better. CONSTRUCTIVE CRITISM ALL THE WAY!!!!!!
Joe Pathetic Excuse: I have the flu. (Note to others on Sciforums: PITY ME GODDAMNIT! Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image!) "LOL, you still think we're the same person, eh? What an idiot..." I couldn't give a fuck. It's fun to watch your hysterics. As for the topic: Be brutally honest, right from the start. You may not win lots of sexual partners, you may not end up with the most hot girls/guys, but you will have acted ethically. And in the end, ethics are more important than anything. Like I've said before, I could easily get laid - but I could not as easily surrender my sense of honor. Be brutally honest, right from the start, and you won't cause or suffer as much pain.
I agree -- tell the truth in a considerate and gentle way, the way you would want someone else to tell you if your positions were reversed. And unless there's a girl who's interested in you and you're not even interested in being her friend, i think that in general, girls are more open to actually "just being friends" than guys are. Meaning, where you actually develop a better friendship with them and hang out with them sometimes, but nothing romantic or kissy-kissy necessarily happens. I can share this tidbit from experience. I went to the same school from kindergarten through 12th grade, as did many of my other classmates. And when i look back in retrospect, there are many girls who i wonder why i didn't get to know them better, even if just as friends. If i had it to do over again i would get to know many of them better, and not let things like "they're not pretty enough or cool enough" get in the way. I would try to see others for who they are on the inside even more, and see them less for how cute they are or popular they are. If 2 or 3 girls were good friends, i might have asked them if they'd all like to go see a movie together sometime or something like that, and maybe go with a guy friend of mine too. Not a "date" or anything like that -- just doing it for fun. I'd seen movies like The Breakfast Club and Heathers when i was in school, and i did take them to heart to some extent. But i can see where i could have done so even more.
I think being truthful, but polite is the best way. I think the best thing to say is something like "I'm sorry but I can't do it" or "it just won't work" If they request an explanation as to why; you've already pointed out a good example. "I just can't bring myself to accept your body. I'm the one to blame here" If physical attraction is a concern for you, it's best to let people know that up front - that way if their looks don't match what you're looking for, hopefully they won't ever approach you. Instead of something like "You're fat, missing teeth, with a huge nose. You're way too ugly for me" Of course I can't see why you'd get involved with someone in the first place if you felt uncomfortable about their looks. If you have a relationship where your partner begins to sour pretty badly to where you don't think it can be recovered (or in my case, changes and turns into a hostile demon), tell them off. You POS! If they are initiating problems with you first for no reason, fight right back at them. If it is going to end on a bitter note anyhow, you may as well get what revenge you can. If it's not way but you think it can't be salvaged, just be honest, tell them they're not the person they used to be. Be specific about whatever the problem is and split up.
Oh gawd...... There's no reason to try to restart this, is there? Joe, look, there's private messaging for snide little comments. Use it! Ahem....before THIS thread is hyjacked by some who cannot get a clue...... Clarentavious: "If you have a relationship where your partner begins to sour pretty badly to where you don't think it can be recovered (or in my case, changes and turns into a hostile demon), tell them off. You POS! If they are initiating problems with you first for no reason, fight right back at them." Yes, as in the rest of life, there is a time to turn the other cheek and there is a time to slap back twice. That's when you tell them off, and are done with it. Sorry things didn't work out for you. Lykan: "And unless there's a girl who's interested in you and you're not even interested in being her friend, i think that in general, girls are more open to actually "just being friends" than guys are. Meaning, where you actually develop a better friendship with them and hang out with them sometimes, but nothing romantic or kissy-kissy necessarily happens." Or that honorable institution of 'friendship with benefits'. It's best to be up-front and honest from the start. You have a better chance of finding what you want, and you don't hurt anyone. At least as much as you would if you tried to lie.
Thank you Joeman. Lykan: I don't know. It depends on a lot of things, how well you know her, how explorative (I don't think that's even a word Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image!) she is sexually, how she feels about romanticism..... There is a certain emotional bond associated with sex, no? One can either strengthen this bond or one can end up in a situation where one person is in love and wants more, the other is happy with the situation as is. But I'm babbling - sorry. I would suggest that you broach the subject first, simply as a hypothetical, not even regarding the two of you, before asking. If she seems automatically averse to the idea, don't bother. If she seems interested, well, I would ask flat out. But that's just me - naturally blunt. I don't know what the most tastefull thing to do would be, but I would think that it would be best to broach the subject gradually.
Oh ... "There is a certain emotional bond associated with sex, no?" What 'emotional bond' pray tell? Curious. Take care. Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image!
"I just can't bring myself to accept your body. I'm the one to blame here" That is definitely not a good thing to say, although it sounded very funny. Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image! Saying that is equal to saying that they are ugly straight out. The best way to let someone know that you are not interested is to just tell them that, and if the person wants to know a particular reason why, then tell them as gently as you possibly can. If it is their appearance, then you can say that you are not attracted to them, no need to point out what you don't like about them. Because that makes both you and the other person feel bad.
And whatever you do, don't break up with someone and give her the reason of "You have too many pimples on your ass."
