It's strange. The night started in trepidation. A drive into Seattle, navigating and parking in the dreaded downtown. I decided at the last minute that I was, in fact, heading in to catch a show by McTuff, featuring premiere saxophonist Skerik. I didn't make it. I started calling friends on the way in. Nobody answered their damn phone. I stopped by my brother's place, hoping for an excuse to not bother driving in. He wasn't home, but I still found one. I headed over to Tony's place, but it seemed he was out, too. Perhaps they were together, catching the Zeke show at El Corazon. Mo wasn't answering, and Corrie was staying in for the night, fighting off a cold on the eve of her birthday, when she plans to head south for a reggae show at a casino in Renton. I had come this far. I really didn't want to go into town. So I headed over to Fremont to drink alone at my favorite bar, the Dubliner. I wandered in and noticed that, though the Supersonics were edging the Milwaukee Bucks, they were on a minority of the bar's several televisions, which generally preferred to show Spurs hosting the Jazz. I ordered a Guinness, grabbed a copy of The Stranger, and scanned the club listings after the goings-on just down the street at High Dive and Tost. Nothing was appealing. And then something caught my eye. It couldn't be .... Really? No ... fucking ... way. Seriously? The Squirrels at The Tractor? Holy flirking schnit ... really? Immediately, I started making the calls all over again. Holy shit, The fucking Squirrels! And nobody answered. Well, Corrie called me back. That's how I found out she was staying in for the night. I finished my pint and headed over to Ballard. Parking could have been worse; it took me ten minutes to find a reasonable spot, but I ended up a half-block from the bar, so don't expect me to complain. Ten dollars and two minutes later, I was in the bar, chuckling almost maniacally to myself. Henry Boy opened. A good time was had by all. :He played a set of off-key, disorganized Christmas songs—this was, after all, The Squirrels Christmas XXXtravaganza. And no, there was no cause for three Xs, but next up was The Sympathy Cards, a chick duo that can only be explained if one is familiar with Seattle's legendary comedy show Almost Live. It was like an episode of Almost Live on acid, featuring tunes about Mudflap Annie, Poise pads, elderly drivers, menopausal rejections of sexual advances, and Santa Claus as a child-porn producer. And then ... the legends themselves. It's hard to explain what The Squirrels do. It's a combination of twisted, inaccurate cover songs and original nightmares. Tonight was the Christmas Xxxtravaganza, so almost every song was a Christmas song ... set to a classic rock song. Imagine a six-foot squirrel dancing to "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer", sung to the tune of Fleetwood Mac's classic "Rhiannon", and you're pretty much there. Three Dog Night's "Joy to the World" sung to the classic carol, "Joy to the World". I had plenty to drink, so it's enough to say I heard a Christmas version of "Oy Como Va", and a countrified rendition of "War Pigs", and a medley involving on the Doors' "Riders on the Storm" and Pink Floyd's "Another Brick in the Wall Part 2" that involves "Do You Hear What I Hear?" and "God Bless Ye Merry Gentlemen". The Squirrels played for over two hours, and the whole time I couldn't stop thinking about how much Rob looked like a friend of mine, which only made the whole thing more amusing. Where else can you pick up 24 tracks on CD for only six dollars? It's kind of hard to explain "The Twelve Days of Christmas" set to America's "Horse With No Name", but once you hear it, you've heard the definitive arrangement; God love The Squirrels. And, hey, the Sonics won, too. 104-98. Kevin Durant had a career-high 35 points, with five blocked shots. I ditched the game at halftime, and I have to admit I'm glad I did. I mean, I'm thrilled that the Sonics are finally capable of winning games, but they're leaving town in a couple years, and, hell, I got to see The fucking Squirrels. You'd be amazed at the shit Baby Cheevers got up to. I even got a Christmas present from The Squirrels. It involves a Ludacris sampler, stickers from Coheed and Cambria, and also, in a cheery coincidence, CKY, whose 2002 album Infiltrate, Destroy, Rebuild I was listening to on the drive in, and, strangely, pogs. Thanks, guys. I'll treasure the CKY sticker. I saw Van Halen and Tool earlier this week. I'm seeing Queens of the Stone Age later this month, and Floater for New Year's. And, while it took until The Melvins, Big Business, and Porn on New Year's last year to bring the Show of the Year, I'm pretty sure I saw 2007's best gig in The Squirrels' Christmas Xxxtravaganza. There's nothing quite like it.
Huh. I'll give 'em a point for knowing Back Home In Derry (See "The LUNCH Medley") http://www.myspace.com/thesquirrelsgroup (Unless, of course, they are but aping Gordon Lightfoot... ah, well...) A couple more mp3s Here Otherwise, sounds kinda like Weird Al - but a bit "weirder"... God help you. Did they get Diamond Doof back for this tour ?
