Spit 'em out!

My 2 favorites....

Confucius say passionate kiss like web of spider, always lead to undoing of fly.

Confucius say kissing like shopping upstairs for downstair's merchandise.

"Girl who sits on judge's lap gets early discharge."
-Confucius.

:p

"The wise speak when they have something to say,
the fools speak when they have to say something."

"The wise speak when they have something to say,
the fools speak when they have to say something."
LOL!!!!111oneoneone

"Confucious says, baseball is wrong. Man with four balls can not walk."
Um... ouch.

"Confucious says, baseball is wrong. Man with four balls can not walk."
Um... ouch.
ROFL! Now, that's funny! :D :p

Confucius say:

"Man with hot rod burn rubber."

"Ask not what Confucious can say for you, but what you can say for Confucious!"

Woman who fly plane upside down have crack up

man who walks through airport turnstile sideways is going to bangkok.

man who runs in front of car gets tired.

man who runs behind car gets exhausted.

Confucious Say:

he who sticks penis in peanut butter jar is fucking nuts.

"man who puts hand in pocket feels cocky all day"- confucious

I have the same book

This is a story told in an ancient book of Taoism, "Lie Zi".

Confucious traveled east and saw two little kids arguing. He asked them what was it about.

One said, "I think the sun is near at dawn and far at noon."
The other said, "I think the sun is far at dawn and near at noon."

The first explained, "The sun is as big as the shade over a car at dawn. At noon, it is only like a dish. A near object is larger than a far one."

The other objected, "At dawn, it is cool. At noon, it is like boiling soup. A object is hotter when is nearer."

Confucious could not decide.

The two kids mocked him, "Who said you are knowledgeable?"

Confucious say:
"He who snorts coke, drowns."
"He who stands on toilet seat, is high on pot."

Man who goes to bed with itchy butt wakes up with smelly finger.