What is the greatest story ever told? To you? It can be anything, from the bible to a joke your grandfather told you when you were little. Whatever.

For me, I think the story would be of human evolution. From arboreal, three foot high Lucies to spacefaring Captain Kirks, I find the evolution of our species to be more interesting and intriguing than anything else I've ever learned about before. While H. Sapiens are, at best, merely a run-on sentence in the Encyclopedia Galactica, each of us is, for the moment, a wielder of the most complex piece of machinery known in the universe: the Mind. The Brain. Nothing more intricate has ever been constructed by anything (as far as we know). This is likely to change, given time, however for the moment we are the zenith.

The steps that contributed to this incredible thing are the only thing more interesting than the thing itself. If writing doesn't work out then I think I'll either be an Anthropologist or a Neurologist, or at the very least a wannabe of either. Or both:bugeye: What intrigues me the most is the element of chance involved in our evolution, how a meteor or a drought or a dearth of food could have wiped all of us out when our species was in its earlier stages, and then, how it didn't. How we made it to where we are now.

Previously, the extinction of other human species has been attributed to, ironically, an inability to evolve. To change. The technology of Neanderthals, for example, remained the same for the entire period of their existence, never going beyond simple tools for 150,000 years. In half that time we landed on the moon, and our ability to change is only accelerating. This may lead to our downfall, that perhaps our amazing leaps and bounds will have gone too far to allow as to be fit enough to survive.

Or maybe we haven't changed, and only think that we have. This may be hard for me to get across, but a Neanderthal may have thought, and in fact, probably did think himself and his technology the most advanced in the world, even as they coexisted with their superiors, who were our ancestors, until 20,000 years ago. Or maybe he didn't care. But in any case, we may be subject to the same problem, that a third party even greater in intelligence than our own would say to themselves "yes, those primitive hoo-mans think that they have changed, that they are evolving. But they are WRONG."

So, I guess the purpose of this thread is to declare what YOU feel is the greatest story, and then to discuss your thoughts relating to it, as I have. Hopefully this hasn't been too scattered:D

You don't really leave any room for other stories as any other story of man is essentially part of his evolution.

The story of how i was born...how the moon shined blood red under ever watchful gaze of the powers that be. How the wicked danced in their wickedness, how the angels parted with their wings for the kiss of the devil. How the undead felt the rise of Gaia within their heartless bones. How the doctor went WTF!!!!! Damn this baby is the finest mutha..."shut yo mouth".;)

Greatest story, says Pollux

like, dude....c'mon. Just one? You mean I don't get to tell you the one about why I don't wear undies?

Kidding

The story about the traveler in the desert surprised by a wild megabeast is an old one.

Seeking to save himself from the monster, he finds a well and then jumps in it but there's no water in it.
But at the bottom of this well he sees this monstrous dragon with its mouth open waiting to devour him. So this man, not daring to go out of this well lest the beast outside should grab him and daring less to jump all the way to the bottom lest the hungry dragon gulp him whole, he clings to the branches of a wild bush growing out of cracks in the well.

He feels his hands weaken and his knuckles are sore, and behold he sees two mice, one white one black, scurrying round the small bush he's clinging to and they're quietly nibbling off the roots.

The poor man sees this and immediately it dawns on him that inevitably he will perish, that with time he's going to face death.
But as he looks about him he notices that on the wild leaves of this bush are small drops of honey and these he reaches with his tounge however ways he could and licks them off with rapture. This he will do despite it all until the bough breaks.


.....and so is the story of man. That at both ends is ugly hostility, and being the only animal on earth burdened with death's uncertainties we live our lives like martyrs and cling to small wildbushes licking sweet honey til death comes.

( I think its wonderful that we're thinking mammals, but its a bit sad also)

LMAO!!
You see this cat Sarge is a bad mother--
(Shut your mouth)
But I'm talkin' about Sarge
(Then we can dig it)

He's an insecure man
but get him some :m:
And you got one cool mother--
(Shut your mouth)

Sarge
(Right On)

that "shut yo mouth" thing is tired.

Jus gimme the light
and pass the dro
Bust another bottle of moe:m: :D

Yeah yeah fountainhead

Damn it man, this is going to be the third time I've asked this but-


HEY SARGE: ever seen 'Perfect Strangers?"

Gal dem in a me sight
and I gots know
Which one is gonna catch my flow
Causle i'm in a the vibes
and i got my dough
Bust another botte of moe
Gurl dem lookin hype
and i gots to know
:m: :D

Sarge mi man. rolls a phat one and passes to sarge:
Do di honours bway.
:m:

Originally posted by gendanken
Damn it man, this is going to be the third time I've asked this but-


HEY SARGE: ever seen 'Perfect Strangers?"


No..why..should i have...i might have and forgotten...hold one let me check...


OK which one...four different ones seem to have surfaced up????

You know..........late 80's, cousin Larry, cousin Balki and Mr. Gorpley, worked for a newspaper. From Meepos to Chicago.............ring a bell?


Well, shitty. So this means you won't get my saying you remind me of a fat Balki.

I've been dying to say that.

That metaphor...reminds me of another one, I forget its exact title. Anyhoo, a man thinks that he has invented a flying machine, say, during the early medieval epoch. He takes his machine, a primitive ornithopter, and hops off a cliff with it. Early on, it begins to work, and he thinks that he is flying, but then, slowly he falls, and it dawns on him that he is in trouble. He pedals harder but it makes no difference, eventually crashing into the ground.

It's supposed to symbolize human civilization, however not the enter human species or its entire history. There's about eighty thousand years of primitive hunter-gatherer society behind us. In the beginning of civilization, during the Agrarian revolution, things seemed to be working. Civilization was a good thing. Then it degenerated, through the many thousands of years, until now, when we're just about to smash into the ground. We're pedalling as hard as we can.

What intrigues me the most is the element of chance involved in our evolution, how a meteor or a drought or a dearth of food could have wiped all of us out when our species was in its earlier stages, and then, how it didn't. How we made it to where we are now. I know exactly what you mean! :) Sorry if this is interupting the thread, but I find this interesting because I too have heard this story ( :p ), and it is quite fascinating. Just quickly, I was wondering if you had any thoughts on how the two sexes came about (mitosis/myosis:'cell division') would presumably be possible, but I find this highly unlikely.

Also, I was wondering if monkeys, at least, also had umbilical cords, the same as humans, and if not, do any other animals? Sorry to post this, I know it's not very nice, but it could provide some answers, and it is interesting (to me anyway).

Sorry, mon I have no idea. Ask Wellcookedfetus, I think he's a biologist or something and he's pretty cool (at least when he's stoned;)) so he should be willing to answe em for yeh'.

that "shut yo mouth" thing is tired. What is this 'shut yo mouth' thing??

Wellcookedfoetus?? *looks to wellcookedfoetus*

are you that bolted down in your caves that you've never heard a story, let alone a good one? Even hermits have stories.


ok, screw it, post a joke or something. This thread's dying and...... I.......DON'T..........WANT...........IT.......... TOO!!

C'mon folks one two one two one two one two one two one two let's get those juices flowing, I'm up for a yarn.

There are load of good stories: Dune, Star Wars, Evolution, Religious texts... etc. I know loads, but it would take too long for me to post them here. I wouldn't say I have a favorite one.

So, I guess the purpose of this thread is to declare what YOU feel is the greatest story,

The one about the sultry, aggressive, neglected housewife and the shy, muscular, gorgeous boy who comes over to clean her pool...

Says Pollux

That metaphor...reminds me of another one, I forget its exact title. Anyhoo, a man thinks that he has invented a flying machine, say, during the early medieval epoch. He takes his machine, a primitive ornithopter, and hops off a cliff with it. Early on, it begins to work, and he thinks that he is flying, but then, slowly he falls, and it dawns on him that he is in trouble. He pedals harder but it makes no difference, eventually crashing into the ground.


If you're referring to my little ditty about the poor man sucking honey before the bough breaks, im not sure you quite get what im saying.

It symbolizes man's stance in life knowing the cold chill of the universe, the indifference of providence, the haunting awareness of his own death and his taking of wine, women, and song anyway despite it.

Sucking at the honey is like scoffing at pranksters letting them know that you know a joke's being played and don't care either way.

I have heard many variations of this. I don't know why I like it. I guess it just speaks to me.


"Three men were gathered around a table playing Fan-tan. An angel descended down to the men to say "The world will end tommorrow, you should prepare now."
The first man jumped from his chair and said,"I'm going to Mexico...getting two bottles of mescal and three women...and spending my last moments on Earth partying."

The second man jumped from his chair and said,"There is so much I have not asked forgiveness for. I'm going to the church to pray, for I must prepare my place in heaven."

The angel turned to the third man and asked, "What are you going to do?"

The third man looked back at his cards and said,"I will finish the game."

In some versions the first two guys do different things. One runs to his family, the second went to sleep and cover his head so he won't know when it comes.
I'm not sure how the original goes (if there is one I woud love to get it from somebody).

Three men were gathered around a table playing Fan-tan. An angel descended down to the men to say "The world will end tommorrow, you.......

Never heard this one but I dig the guy who went on to finish the game anway. I think that if the world were to end suddenly tomorrw I'd finally jump the gun and sleep with a woman.

Originally posted by Mucker
Also, I was wondering if monkeys, at least, also had umbilical cords, the same as humans, and if not, do any other animals?

Many mammals have placentas and umbilical cords. Exceptions would be a primitive mammal such as the platypus, part of the Monotremes, which lays eggs. And in marsupials the baby is born in a very primitive state and I actually do not know if they have umbilical cords...but their placenta is different because it is more a yolk-type placenta. This does not allow for longer gestation times and hence the babies are born so early.

And then you have the group of eutheria, which are all placental mammals. This includes almost everything you could think of that has fur and nipples. Mice, cats, bats, cows, humans, chimps, voles, elephants...whatever.

and WCF is a biochemist.

I heard one about this spider, called incey-wincey, and Miss Tuffet. The spider scared miss_tuffet away, but I think she came back. :)

On The Road - Kerouac
Through the Looking Glass - Carroll
Stpry of the Eye - Batille(sp?)

THEY'RE ALL SHIT!

I would pick something close to your selection pollux. I would say the story of the earth(including man and every other organism).
But for many of the same reasons you would say the story of man like the lucky little coincidences that allowed for enormous things. It truely is remarkable, I wonder if any other life harbouring planet has such a rich story to tell with as many mind bending twists and turns and tie ins.
If somehow the reality we know didn't exist but people were still writing stories and someone came up with the idea of earth's life story they would need to be considered by far the most genius human in history for their creative writing ability alone.
Things as simple as plankton converting carbon dioxide into oxygen which allowed for life on land. The very system we take for granted that keeps life going without the life even knowing whats going on(untill recently). Its all so hard for us to truely appreciate because it is the only reality we are aware of but I guarantee that an outside observer would be totally blown away.
When I am walking down the street I look at everything around me, the people, the cars, the trees, the birds, the insects whatever and think "to something in the universe THIS is alien". Like really think about that next time you are outside, it starts feeling like you are observing and exploring an alien planet. Not fully of course but I think I have a taste for what that would be like by just looking at earth in a different way than I have most of my life, imagining I am an alien looking into this planet, it makes everything infinitely more interesting for some reason. You just know some being in space somewhere would be amazed and frightened and blown away by what we never even think about. The story of this earth is the greatest story I have "heard" so far. I find it hard to imagine another story topping it considering it encapsulates(almost) everything we know or can think of. I'd love to hear the story of a similar yet different planet.

Originally posted by gendanken
The story about the traveler in the desert surprised by a wild megabeast is an old one.....

I LOVE that!

Originally posted by Mucker
THEY'RE ALL SHIT!

Is that in response to my suggestions?

I think Story of the Eye is an excellent story about living a life of complete abandon of society's implied moral values.
Allowing complete freedom to live a life of pure hedonistic pleasure with no conscience to slow you down.

On the Road is an endearing tale of a man who is lost in a quest to find himself.
He is a member of a generation that has nothing to unite them, so grasp for something to believe in.
Jack (Sal) sought that which he was missing through music, companionship, drugs, freedom and writing.
He is absolutlely enamored with all aspects of life and humanity.
He looks at life through the eyes of a child that is filled with wonder and finds excitement in everything he sees.
He judges no one and accepts them for who they are.
He focuses on what he likes about people and is convinced that there is more to like about each person than there is to dislike.

Through the Looking Glass reminds us (me, at least) to not forget the importance of imagination and a large inner world in life.

I think there is important lessons to learn from all the stories.

Xev said:

"The one about the sultry, aggressive, neglected housewife and the shy, muscular, gorgeous boy who comes over to clean her pool..."

You missed the boat on this one, oh thats right I am not shy and I don't do manual labor.

Still I am not so convinced girls really like shy guys anyway.

Says Mucker
Also, I was wondering if monkeys, at least, also had umbilical cords, the same as humans, and if not, do any other animals? Sorry to post this, I know it's not very nice, but it could provide some answers, and it is interesting (to me anyway).


And yes, Mucker, from the monkey to the shrew to the wild zebra all mammals, save the platypus, have umblilical cords including dogs and kitties. All one need do is look.

h thats right I am not shy and I don't do manual labor. Fred x's first post that made me laugh out loud (it really did!) Just don't let it go to your head Freddy. :p

Some of those stories do sound good one_raven. I've heard about The Looking Glass loads but I've never actually read it. I only really heard about it from Noel Gallagher (he uses a looking glass in the don't look back in anger video, too).

The greatest story is always your own. Your cover may be a bit worn, with circular stains from where you set your coffee mug down and then too, some of the pages are starting to yellow...

but hopefully some chapters are still unread and you'll find satisfaction in them before you read: "the end".

Who knows, if you're really lucky perhaps the PUBLISHER will want you to write a sequel.:)

I won't Mucker but yet again I was never your typical intellectual, so I am not that prone to their occupational hazards. I am 75% intellectual and 25% regular dude. That is why I am so refreshing. Pure intellectuals are boring.

In response to Bridge, I am already working on my second book.

I don't know when I am going to release them though.

The story is told of a king in Africa who had a close friend with whom he grew up. The friend had a habit of looking at every situation that ever occurred in his life (positive or negative) and remarking, "This is good!"

One day the king and his friend were out on a hunting expedition. The friend would load and prepare the guns for the king. The friend had apparently done something wrong in preparing one of the guns, for after taking the gun from his friend, the king fired it and his thumb was blown off.

Examining the situation the friend remarked as usual, "This is good!"

To which the king replied, "No, this is NOT good!" and proceeded to send his friend to jail.

About a year later, the king was hunting in an area that he should have known to stay clear of. Cannibals captured him and took them to their village. They tied his hands, stacked some wood, set up a stake and bound him to the stake. As they came near to set fire to the wood, they noticed that the king was missing a thumb. Being superstitious, they never ate anyone that was less than whole. So untying the king, they sent him on his way.

As he returned home, he was reminded of the event that had taken his thumb and felt remorse for his treatment of his friend.

He went immediately to the jail to speak with his friend. "You were right," he said, "it was good that my thumb was blown off."

And he proceeded to tell the friend all that had just happened. "And so I am very sorry for sending you to jail for so long.

It was bad for me to do this." "No," his friend replied, "This is good!"

"What do you mean, 'This is good'? How could it be good that I sent my friend to jail for a year?"

"If I had NOT been in jail, I would have been with you."

Dr. Lou:


sometimes, i feel more aware of what is actually true about our existence. when im driving and im staring down the road ahead, listening to music, lost in thought...


i think about time. and the next few seconds and how time isn't something real. i think about the past, and the future. i think how they don't exist, either. there's no way to go into the past because it doesnt exist. i mean...you're living now. i know this thought is tired, but ive been thinking about this for a long time and it gives you a sense of understanding what you can never really begin to comprehend or appreciate...and it's us being here. there's no real magic to the world we live in. we're an accident and reality is going to correct it sooner or later.

im rambling.

All i have to say is, i think this topic is the dogs bollicks , well done Pollux for starting it:cool: