1. Are you as good as you look or am I wrong?
2. Would you like to come back to my place and watch a little reality show?
3. If milk does a body good then damn girl what you been drinking? (implying super hot)
4. I made a wishlist for Christmas and I only just now found what I wanted
5. Can I buy you a drink, then afterwards...
6. I use to be blind but now I can certainly see things I never knew existed (imply very charming and sexy woman)

...yeah, I saw you checking me out (when she had been ignoring you)

Do you like men with sociopathic tendencies, harbouring the desire to rape?

If you do, today's your lucky day, baby ;)
If you don't, today's your lucky day, baby ;)

Does this rag smell like chloroform?

OMG this is so funny LOL

Does that crap really work? And does it work on the kind of girls you'd actually like to become acquainted with? Would you like to become acquainted with somebody who approached you that way? If so, then I guess you deserve each other. :)

Ask her to dance. If she declines then she's not interested, based upon what little she's seen of you, and neither of you has wasted any time. If she wants to keep dancing into the next song that's a good sign. At the end of the dance see if she'll let you walk her back to her seat by just doing it rather than asking, which is kind of awkward. If she wants you to get lost it will be obvious. If you get that far without having to say something trite then it means she senses some chemistry which is a lot better of a start-up than a pickup line. At that point you can just start talking normally, without playing games, and actually become acquainted.

I know that sounds just too simple for you kids, but it works as well as anything. And it minimizes the chance of turning some girl off who might actually like you because you're trying to seem artificially "cool."

Those lines work best on drunks and hookers.

I admitt to never having tried any of them, LOL. Anyway I really am lucky, based on what Baron Max has been saying in alot of threads woman are just dangerous to get involved with, I'm starting to think being a virgin is a good thing :-Z~

"Hey streetpeaches, you lookin at me?"

A straight friend said that to a waitress a few years ago. She didn't like it much.

Anyway I really am lucky, based on what Baron Max has been saying in alot of threads woman are just dangerous to get involved with, I'm starting to think being a virgin is a good thing :-Z~
Baron Max isn't the most impartial judge of these things. To put it mildly.

I was out with some friends several years ago and went to the bar to get a drink. This guy was standing next to me at said bar and he turned to look at me as the bartender put this huge frothy and colourful drink with umbrellas and crap sticking out everywhere from the glass in front of him... He leaned towards me with this cheesy smile and said..

"Do you like 'cocktails'..."

For some reason I said nothing and watched as he brought his drink towards his face.. mouth open to catch the straw.. he missed his mouth and thestraw jammed up his nose causing a nosebleed. Was one of the funniest things I'd ever seen. Lets just say I could barely walk away from laughing so much.

Yeah, my favorite is "Does this smell like chlorophorm to you?" (holding up a rag toward their face.) Roman, where did you hear that? I thought one of my friends made it up, but I guess not.

Another good one: "Baby, if you were a burger, I'd call you McBeautiful."

I've used the chlorophorm one once, on a guy (who I didn't know at all), at an anime convention. It's all pretty lax there (people will come up to you and say something like "Hey, dudes, check out my dad's vintage 70's vest." It's a seriously weird but entertaining place) so it was all just good fun, but I've never tried it on a girl in a real situation.

"Baby, if you were a burger, I'd call you McBeautiful."
Ladies and gentlemen, we have a winner!

For a list of "Best Pickup Lines" for a girl to get a guy, just watch Dateline NBC.

Does that crap really work?

The problem with these lines is that they are too cocky. Some are very corny. The best "pick-up" lines are the ones where you mix a bit of cocky with funny... essentially, you make a cocky comment but in a funny way and she "gets" it... And you got to act like she is one of thousands you can be around. If you do it right, many women will feel attraction for you. However, since you given her the impression she is just one of thousands, she'll want to be around you more. Hence, hook up.

If you just come off as a "funny guy," she'll only see you as the jokester.

Essentially, it all comes down to mating. Males look for females, and females do the choosing, not men. Men have to SHOW there is something about him that makes his genes worth passing on to her. If you are "cocky," you must have something to brag about GENE-wise, right? If you are just funny.. you haven't shown anything.

I'd check out David Deangelo... he's the best in this field.

EH.

"hey whats up? my name is..."

"what good is a 600lb polar bear for? *puzzled female face*...for breaking the ice, hey! my name is"


i'm not so sure about the second one.


The type of approach really works on case by case basis. For some you have to go for the Dr. Lou "cocky" approach, few like the sypethetic, some go squarely by how you look, and few good ones will actually approach you if you genuinely funny...these usualy approach you outside a bar or club when you're smoking and your banter attracts them.

You guys are really generalizing all girls as being "pick up" girls on the streets or in the bars. Fraggle has it right. If there's a mutual chemistry or interest, then you might hit it off, else you're just talking about finding a girl for a short term relationship or a one night stand. This is really a biased thread.

Well I sure as hell never got a girl being "the nice guy." I never got one being an "asshole," either. It's a balance of the two that I have seen get girls.

Sexual inflection: Any sentence.

"She could __________ my _________ any day of the week!"

EXAMPLES:

Grandma's chicken sallladdddd.

She could grind my key ANY day of the week!

3 simple words-
Come here sugartits

"what good is a 600lb polar bear for? *puzzled female face*...for breaking the ice, hey! my name is"


i'm not so sure about the second one.
I can't imagine where the uncertainty is coming from.

For some you have to go for the Dr. Lou "cocky" approach
Nice Dr Lou reference, respect.

I've gone through phases of trying every approach.
Tough and cool, tough and loud, childlike and zany, intellectual nice guy, intellectual smartass, unthinking animal, dumb jerk, harmless idiot, disgusting chauvanist pig, tripped out weirdo, pretentious indifferent arsehole and polite pussy.
By far the least successfull is the last one, polite pussy.
Girls won't be mean to polite pussy, but they also won't let him anywhere near their bits and pieces.
It's weird but dumb jerk, who seemingly posesses no redeeming attributes, can convince women via sloppy confusing insults to sleep with him while polite pussy, and to a lesser extent intellectual nice guy, have no luck at all with their elaborate finely tuned routine of social ettiquette.

Actually dumb cowardly jerk works pretty good too.
One time when I was about 17 at this open party I spent most of the night insulting this girl with 4 letter words (slut, cunt, even dumb and ugly), she insulted me back and so it went for some time. We'd seperate, mingle around, cross paths again and it would be like "what are you looking at you stupid bitch? You fuckin stink by the way" "fuck you arsehole, oh and nice red shirt, faggot".

Later on the party was winding down and I was out the front on the footpath (might have even been waiting for my mother, embarrassingly) when this girl and her friend stumble out, "haha look who it is, the little faggot man" "yeah look who it is, a pair of rough sluts coming out to piss in the gutter like animals"
Then she shoves me and says "I told my boyfriend you've been hasseling me, him and his mates are looking for you, they're gonna kick your arse" *both girls now laughing taunting*
Now I know her boyfriend and his mates, she's my age but they're grown men, they're 6 and a half foot tall real cowboys with boots and trucks and facial hair, I change completely and I'm like "are you serious? fuck that, I'm out of here, what is he coming now? Shit!" she laughs more, but the laugh is suddenly pleasant and not cackling over the prospect of my demise, at which point she grabs me and starts making out with me while her girlfriend is like "holy shit! Kelly what are you doing!".
I grab a bit of ass and rub a little crotch to store in the jackoff memory archives, but I'm still seriously freaked out and untrusting so I say "nah fuck this" and flee into the night while she yells "I was kidding!" after me.

Realistically she was way out of my league, she was stupidly hot, annoyingly so(which explains the earlier insults) and the simple fact she had a man boyfriend while I waited for my mother in the red shirt she bought me made it a fact that I by all rights shouldn't have been able to seduce her.
But my brazen jerkiness peaked her curiousity, my frank childlike cowardice fired up her nurturing instinct, and the way I ran and negotiated unstable changing terrains in the dark, I believe, made her fall in love with me.
Dumb cowardly jerk is an ace, I recommend it.

Got milk?

Hi Posters

Hows it going today

when i was a student i used this line a few times... I think it worked twice out of abnout 6 attempts...

Its to be attmepted at a club....

You "Excuse me..... Do you have a spare advacardo??"
The response will be either

Her "What the fuck are you on about piss off" or something along those olines

or

Her "Eeehhhh no why do you ask me that,"


If you get the second answer then its up to you to keep the conversation flowing and see what happens...

the first response is obviously a sign to piss off and move on.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Take care
zak

Hi Posters

Hows it going today

when i was a student i used this line a few times... I think it worked twice out of abnout 6 attempts...

Its to be attmepted at a club....

You "Excuse me..... Do you have a spare advacardo??"
The response will be either

Her "What the fuck are you on about piss off" or something along those olines

or

Her "Eeehhhh no why do you ask me that,"


If you get the second answer then its up to you to keep the conversation flowing and see what happens...

the first response is obviously a sign to piss off and move on.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Take care
zak
LOL good one.


Cheese: "Does this look usual to you? I need your honest oppinion"
Edam: "Are you a secretary? my little black books got out of control and I need to hire help".
Brie: "Are you a nurse? What do you recommend for major swelling?"
camembert: "I was gay up until a second ago, I guess thats because I never saw you before".

Those sort of lines would only work on loose girls. Thing is that type drive me nuts, most of them are loud, obnoxious and they eye up nearly every guy that walks past. You can say almost anything to these girls, my lines are:

I want to kill you

I want to drink your blood

Those sort of lines would only work on loose girls. Thing is that type drive me nuts, most of them are loud, obnoxious and they eye up nearly every guy that walks past. You can say almost anything to these girls, my lines are:

I want to kill you

I want to drink your blood

Yeah I dont actually use chat up lines, well definitely not ones as obvious as those.

As a girl who's heard a lot of pickup lines over the years, here's my perspective:

The Worst Pickup Line Ever : "I'm sorry, but I couldn't help but notice how handsome you are, and I just had to go up and talk to you." This is the classic loser pickup line. Yes, it's sweet, but 1- we've already heard it a thousand times, so you should do better, and 2- if we're beautiful, we don't care about sweet. We want strong and manly. It can be cruel, but if I didn't shoot down every nice guy who wants to ask me out I'd never do anything else.

The Second Best Pickup Line Ever : The funny pickup lines. If you think pickup lines are like a password that, if guessed correcly, will get any woman to fawn over you, you're going to get shot down. However, if you realize (and show you realize) that pickup lines are ridiculous and take advantage of the potential funny hidden in there, it can be a great way to break the ice. The great pitfall here, though, is if you deliver the pickup line with a self-deprecating kind of humor. How can you expect us to like you if you begin by playing yourself down? If you deliver the line self-depreciatingly, you're saying "I'm such a loser that I couldn't think of anything better than this weak joke," and it's not going to get you anywhere. Loser.

The #1 Pickup Line : "Hi" and a smile. That is just the best damn pickup line ever. I've never shot down a guy with a warm "Hi" and a great smile. The best possible first impression. Of course the SECOND impression can destroy everything, but that's the case with any pickup line, right?

Good luck.

As a girl who's heard a lot of pickup lines over the years, here's my perspective:

The Worst Pickup Line Ever : "I'm sorry, but I couldn't help but notice how handsome you are, and I just had to go up and talk to you." This is the classic loser pickup line. Yes, it's sweet, but 1- we've already heard it a thousand times, so you should do better, and 2- if we're beautiful, we don't care about sweet. We want strong and manly. It can be cruel, but if I didn't shoot down every nice guy who wants to ask me out I'd never do anything else.

The Second Best Pickup Line Ever : The funny pickup lines. If you think pickup lines are like a password that, if guessed correcly, will get any woman to fawn over you, you're going to get shot down. However, if you realize (and show you realize) that pickup lines are ridiculous and take advantage of the potential funny hidden in there, it can be a great way to break the ice. The great pitfall here, though, is if you deliver the pickup line with a self-deprecating kind of humor. How can you expect us to like you if you begin by playing yourself down? If you deliver the line self-depreciatingly, you're saying "I'm such a loser that I couldn't think of anything better than this weak joke," and it's not going to get you anywhere. Loser.

The #1 Pickup Line : "Hi" and a smile. That is just the best damn pickup line ever. I've never shot down a guy with a warm "Hi" and a great smile. The best possible first impression. Of course the SECOND impression can destroy everything, but that's the case with any pickup line, right?

Good luck..
Exactly!






Hi:)

By far the least successfull is the last one, polite pussy.
Girls won't be mean to polite pussy, but they also won't let him anywhere near their bits and pieces.
It's weird but dumb jerk, who seemingly posesses no redeeming attributes, can convince women via sloppy confusing insults to sleep with him while polite pussy, and to a lesser extent intellectual nice guy, have no luck at all with their elaborate finely tuned routine of social ettiquette.




I can personally vouch for this. Polite and nice gets you nothing besides another friend who'll only call you when she needs something or a listening ear.

The #1 Pickup Line : "Hi" and a smile. That is just the best damn pickup line ever. I've never shot down a guy with a warm "Hi" and a great smile. The best possible first impression. Of course the SECOND impression can destroy everything, but that's the case with any pickup line, right?

Good luck.

Agreed. Lot of women have told me something along the same line. Don't pretend, don't put up a front because sooner or later you'll slip up or will have to be yourself.

1. Are you as good as you look or am I wrong?
2. Would you like to come back to my place and watch a little reality show?
3. If milk does a body good then damn girl what you been drinking? (implying super hot)
4. I made a wishlist for Christmas and I only just now found what I wanted
5. Can I buy you a drink, then afterwards...
6. I use to be blind but now I can certainly see things I never knew existed (imply very charming and sexy woman)


Lines are for social robots. If you have to use pick up lines, become an actor and star in a porn movie.

If you want to be serious about women, meaning if you want to actually have a wife someday, you arent going to get there with those weak fake pathetic lines. You are going to have to go off script, and it's better to go off script sooner rather than later, in fact it's best to burn up the entire script and tell the truth.

Otherwise all of your relationships will be simple, like this.

Step 1. Look female in the eyes, mimic her body language and breathing.

Step 2. Tell female I love you, pretend to be nervous.

Step 3. Kiss female, and get laid.


These pathetic scripts only reveal how simple the mind of the male is who is even thinking in this fashion. Women are not objects, if you think of them as objects, then you'll be more likely to apply "scripts", also women don't want to be fake all the time, sometimes women like realness. Don't you think peoples lives are scripted enough? Why do we need to script this too?

It's simple, be yourself, if she can't accept you, shes worthless, move on.

"I am a CEO of Microsoft"

Agreed. Lot of women have told me something along the same line. Don't pretend, don't put up a front because sooner or later you'll slip up or will have to be yourself.

Because it's true. These lines, they only harm decent men and decent women who are capable of being real. Some people will ALWAYS be fake, let these people master all those fucked up lines.

Let the rest of us, have a chance to be ourselves, and be loved.

Lines are for social robots. If you have to use pick up lines, become an actor and star in a porn movie.

If you want to be serious about women, meaning if you want to actually have a wife someday, you arent going to get there with those weak fake pathetic lines. You are going to have to go off script, and it's better to go off script sooner rather than later, in fact it's best to burn up the entire script and tell the truth.

Otherwise all of your relationships will be simple, like this.

Step 1. Look female in the eyes, mimic her body language and breathing.

Step 2. Tell female I love you, pretend to be nervous.

Step 3. Kiss female, and get laid.


These pathetic scripts only reveal how simple the mind of the male is who is even thinking in this fashion. Women are not objects, if you think of them as objects, then you'll be more likely to apply "scripts", also women don't want to be fake all the time, sometimes women like realness. Don't you think peoples lives are scripted enough? Why do we need to script this too?

It's simple, be yourself, if she can't accept you, shes worthless, move on.

...so if they are not objects...than they are not made of matter...than what are they made of if not atoms?!!! subatomic particles!!!:eek:

It's even simpler if you're good looking. If the girl finds you physically attractive then there is very little you can mess up on. It's not only good looking women that get away with murder.

I can personally vouch for this. Polite and nice gets you nothing besides another friend who'll only call you when she needs something or a listening ear.

That's not exactly true.

I'll tell you, the secret to getting women, is not being MEAN to them. Yeah assholes sometimes end up with women, but all the people who are actually good with women, they arent good with women because they treat them like crap.

Now, if your goal is to get laid, thats very easy, and you don't have to be an asshole to do it, and you don't have to use lines to do it. All you have to do, is be yourself, if you are a horny pervert, then let her know from the start. Women get horny too, and when they do, it's all just a matter of timing at that point.

So the time to flirt with a woman, is WHEN shes horny. You'll know this by her body language, you'll know this by how she talks, or what she talks about, and all you have to do is decide to go along with it, or decline. If you go along with it, you don't have to PLAY the woman, or LIE, or TRICK a woman into bed, thats a sign of a weakness, it's the sign of a man who is desperate enough to trick women into bed.

All you have to do, have patience, and when her mood changes, you recognize it, and then you hint, and you hint again, and again, until she gets the picture. It's really not difficult, women are just like men sexually. The only difference is women show different signs when horny.

I'm not going to tell you the signs either, because thats something I'd keep a secret. The males who are smart enough to know what these signs are, well, we maintain an advantage. Finally, YOU DO NOT have to trick a woman into bed, and it's unethical to do so. You only have to wait until she wants to be in bed with someone and convince her it should be with you.

It's even simpler if you're good looking. If the girl finds you physically attractive then there is very little you can mess up on. It's not only good looking women that get away with murder.

Depends, have you heard of fetishes? Women have them too. Good looking is difficult to define, because women are turned on by all sorts of things.

Some women are turned on by a sense of humor. In general a guy who can make a woman laugh can also make her smile, and women like to feel comfortable around whoever they are in bed with so that first step should be to make her as comfortable as possible, make her laugh, make her smile, make her WANT to be around you, and WANT to be close to you, and you'll make her kiss you on your own, you might not even realize you are doing it.

However if you chase after women with these weak lines, you'll get no where. I don't know any married man who used such ridiculous lines. If you want to learn how to deal with women, talk to men who are married, talk to that 80 year old couple, talk to that man who has women falling in love with him left and right.

Don't talk to that guy who has a different woman each week. He's a fake. He is treating women as accessories, or trophys. Sure you can trick a woman into having sex with you, it does not take a lot of effort to do that, I could explain how to do that in a few paragraphs, but it's unethical, and it's not a sign of being good with women.

Anyone can lie, cheat and con people into doing what they want. It does not take a lot of intelligence to do that. It's a different story to make a woman actually love you, and actually want you, and actually chase you. When you are so popular with women that you are afraid of being stalked, then post your tips here.

It's even simpler if you're good looking. If the girl finds you physically attractive then there is very little you can mess up on. It's not only good looking women that get away with murder.

This works on dumb girls, or teenagers. I'm talking about with real women. Being physically attractive at best, will get you one night with a not so intelligent woman. If you want more than one night, meaning if you want to have sex on a REGULAR basis, then you'll need to come up with a better strategy than that.

And no I'm not going to give you any tips.

This works on dumb girls, or teenagers. I'm talking about with real women. Being physically attractive at best, will get you one night with a not so intelligent woman. If you want more than one night, meaning if you want to have sex on a REGULAR basis, then you'll need to come up with a better strategy than that.

And no I'm not going to give you any tips.


You just did by quoting this post 3 seperate times.

Why would you quote one post 3 times? ...ur like 3 people in one?

Depends, have you heard of fetishes? Women have them too. Good looking is difficult to define, because women are turned on by all sorts of things.
Now that you mention it, I don't think I've ever heard of a woman with a fat fetish. You see lean guys with big whale girlfriends confined to their bed, and they are actually turned on by it, not just settling for anything they can get, they lust after morbidly obese women specifically.
But I've never seen the opposite, I've never seen a hot chick (or average) with a bed-bound fatass husband who she passionately rubs oil into, blowing rasberries in the folds of his back fat and getting herself worked up in the process.
So I'd have to disagree, the scope of what women are attracted to is definately far more limitted than what men can be attracted to.
Some women like dark hair or blue eyes or whatever, but ultimately they have a fairly unanimous specific ideal of what is physically attractive, compared to men anyway.
They occassionally settle for unattractive, but they'll know their man is unattractive. Just about every trainwreck of a woman out there is perfectly ideal in the eyes of some sick freak.
Sucks to be a big fat ugly man I guess.

Does this rag smell like chloroform?
HEY! thats mine! you thieving bastard =]

sex maniacs

"I got a loaded gun under my shirt, if you dont come with me, I will have to shoot you"

This isn't so much a pickup line as it is a sneaky way to get rubbed.
First you need a hole in your pocket which your penis can slip through...

My friend used to do this at school all the time, in truth it very rarely worked, either his delivery would be off and the girls would say "fuck off" or they'd reach in and recoil right away, realising immediately what it was upon the slightest touch.
But one time the planets were just alligned perfectly or something.

There was this small excessively skinny girl who had some kind of bone disease which made her really weak. She was also one of those extremely quiet people who felt like they weren't worthy of voicing their opinion or speaking up ever.
Anyway, my friend had a particularly big stack of books, and he ingeniously acted like they were unstable and in danger of falling, I mean it was over the top and comedic to me as an informed onlooker, but it was a committed performance and convincing I'm sure to people who had no reason to suspect anything.
He stumbled sideways towards the meek "jane", and I'm thinking "aww no, you can't, this is so wrong", but at the same time I was really impressed with his utter disregard for any standard of morality.
Sure enough he stops, rests the stack on his left thigh while tilting the loaded right thigh out for Jane's easy access "jane! quick! can you just grab this shlumshum out of my pocket".
Startled by the urgent tone, she worriedly reaches in to the pocket with her tiny boney hand and starts yanking at it's contents.
After failing to pull it out on first try she blushes, and starts reaching deeper and yanking more vigorously.
She's obviously used to failing to lift modest objects and self conscious about it. Any other girl would have immediately said "what the fuck is that" and pulled their hand out(if they didn't know precisely what it was), but all that was on janes mind was getting it out asap so as to not draw attention to her disease and it's symptom of decreased strength.
"Use both hands jane" he suggests, and, sadly, both of her little t-rex hands do indeed fit into his pocket.
I'm now at the point where I'm ready to just run away as fast and far as I can.
But I just can't look away.

Jane suddenly withdraws her hands and holds them out like they're contaminated while stepping backwards, her nose screws up in disgust and she faintly goes to mouth some words but nothing comes out, I need to move slightly to see what she's seeing at which point I realise my friends shorts have been distorted, his pocket twisted around to the front from where a raging boner emerges, exposing it's hideous veiny form to the sun's rays and anyone in the vicinity.
That is precisely when I turn and sprint away faster than I ever have, I hear a pile of books crash to the ground behind me, followed by pounding footsteps and out of control laughter.
I too am laughing and crying while running.
We both run to the other end of the school grounds where we collapse under the shade of a tree in the grass and laugh and cry to the point of agony and genuine discomfort for the rest of the lunch break.

This isn't so much a pickup line as it is a sneaky way to get rubbed.
First you need a hole in your pocket which your penis can slip through...

Haha! I remember a guy I used to work telling me this. If the girl was asking you for change or something.. you tell her it's in your pocket.

Haha! I remember a guy I used to work telling me this. If the girl was asking you for change or something.. you tell her it's in your pocket.

yeah...so she got one of those long razor sharp black colored nales...and she is reaching there real fast...you;ll be crying in pain.:eek:

I am broke and stupid...but arent i good looking? - open arms wide and give a big smile. this works only on heavily intoxicated women though.

this may be corney but :
Is it hott in here or is it you?

Corney much>?

"Nice jugs"

Hay baby, wanna \gamma = \lim_{n \rightarrow \infty } \left( \left( \sum_{k=1}^n \frac{1}{k} \right) - \ln (n) \right)=\int_1^\infty\left({1\over\lfloor x\rfloor}-{1\over x}\right)\,dx ?

Hi, we already know whats going to happen from here on, but before you speak. The forces of the universe brought me to you, as a causation of the unraveling complexities and beauties of life. The result being an event of you and I exchanging fluids and basking in our day. My name is (insert name here), a broker of some sorts, a winner of all sorts. Whats yours?

No wonder geeks never get laid.

This seems to be doing rather well despite my absence, lmao

Hay baby, wanna \gamma = \lim_{n \rightarrow \infty } \left( \left( \sum_{k=1}^n \frac{1}{k} \right) - \ln (n) \right)=\int_1^\infty\left({1\over\lfloor x\rfloor}-{1\over x}\right)\,dx ?

Wanna http://upload.wikimedia.org/math/c/2/6/c26afb595961f0e8a57a55b43817420a.png?

Hi, we already know whats going to happen from here on, but before you speak. The forces of the universe brought me to you, as a causation of the unraveling complexities and beauties of life. The result being an event of you and I exchanging fluids and basking in our day. My name is (insert name here), a broker of some sorts, a winner of all sorts. Whats yours?

*throws drink over chatha's face*

Hi, I'm (insert name). I'm celebrating, care to join me? *buy most expensive champagne, whilst showing off contents of a very stuffed wallet - stuffed with real or fake notes, either way*

M)Excuse me, do you have a light?
W)Yes, here.
M)Thanks *light up* I... *start to stutter and cry* I'm sorry. I just don't know what I'm doing. My family died in a car crash yesterday.
W)Oh my God, you poor thing.

Alternatively.

M)Excuse me, do you have a light?
W)No, sorry.
M)Oh, ok.. I... *start to stutter and cry* I'm sorry. I just don't know what I'm doing. My family died in a car crash yesterday.
W)Oh my God, you poor thing.

You are Soo Pretty, you can do my laundry and cook for me anytime.