For those who have here grown up kids, at what age the kids stopped sleepovers? When is it not cool anymore?

Practically speaking, maybe when they can drive and go home on their own?

My son had his girl friend come for a sleep over...He is 28...does that count? :D

I am 21, I slept over my friend's house...see nuttin wrong with it. It feels a bit awkward, but its still good thing.

For those who have here grown up kids, at what age the kids stopped sleepovers?

Well I don't but I'll add my 2 cents worth. At 12 I'd think that no one should be allowed to sleep over unless they are the same sex or there's a problem at their home and then you'd need to call about what's up.

'Til like 12 I guess.

Well, we just have a sleepover tonight and the kids are almost 16. Generally I don't like much noise, so when they are over, I can't sleep very well, let's just put it this way. :)

Now here is what I don't get, some of the kids live like 2 minutes walk away, so even at 1 am I would rather go walk home and sleep in my own bed instead of on the floor, but that is just me... I assume they are too lazy to go home... The funniest part is that nobody sleeps in the bed,but on any other furniture...

On the positive side, at least we know where they are...

Well, we just have a sleepover tonight and the kids are almost 16. Generally I don't like much noise, so when they are over, I can't sleep very well, let's just put it this way. :)

Now here is what I don't get, some of the kids live like 2 minutes walk away, so even at 1 am I would rather go walk home and sleep in my own bed instead of on the floor, but that is just me... I assume they are too lazy to go home... The funniest part is that nobody sleeps in the bed,but on any other furniture...

On the positive side, at least we know where they are...

My son (17) has a friend staying the weekend. They basically just play video games all weekend. Its like there is a rotation system. Everyone takes turns spending the night at someone's house.
The last girl he had spend the night was when he was about 13. As soon as she got her period, her Mom put a stop to it. My son and her talked about her period so she didn't understand what the big deal was.

I wouldn't mind 1 extra kid, but 3???? Although one of my friends had like 10 girls sleeping over with her daughter...

What is the difference between playing games at 1 am or 11 am? Because when they stay up late, then they sleep late. So why not just go to sleep in at a decent hour and get up earlier?? I understand the novelty of it, but we make them be quiet, and where is the fun in that??? :)

What you guys don't do sleepovers anymore?
I mean, we don't sit under the blankets with a flashlight anymore, but that's cause we can set our own bedtimes.
Been known to go out for a beer too. In slippers.
If you have sex with the other person, does that not count?

If you have sex with the other person, does that not count?

Only if your parents still bang on the wall : "Turn that noise down, will you!"

My 11 yr old has his buddy over for a sleepover sometimes. My basement is finished so they set up down there. They pretty much fool around whipping stuff at eachother and playing Xbox. They stay up till whenever they pass out. It doesn't bother me because I am 2 floors above them.

Only if your parents still bang on the wall : "Turn that noise down, will you!"

Oh, that's kinky. Not for me. But I'm not judging what others need for a good time.

Only if your parents still bang on the wall : "Turn that noise down, will you!"

Duct Tape always works :D

i guess it depends what you count as a sleep over, if you mean with kids pjs and pillow fights maybe 10 but if you mean when you have been drinking at a friends place and decide drink driving is NOT cool then never

I don't think sleepovers ever stop, its part of the human experience.

I have never allowed them. I have to sets of kids 14/15 and 5/7 both sets one boy one girl. I just thought it better to never start them then to have to end them during teen years. They really don't seem to mind, and i always make it clear to other parents who have allowed my children to spend the night at their house, that the "favor" will not be returned.
For the most part I don't get much slack about it.

I do sleepovers because my hands can no longer bear to handle the ps2 control...I collapse...

It doesn't bother me because I am 2 floors above them.

Well, I am a light sleeper and even little noises wake me up. Also, just in principle I don't see the need to stay up until 6 am, then sleep until 2 pm...

Oh yes, and next day there are bodies all over in the living room... :)

Sleepovers stop when orgies begin.

Duct Tape always works :D

Wow. I got a series of images. All of them provocative and none of them, I suspect, what you meant.

I sometimes get drunk at my friend's apartment and play Starcraft all night and pass out there. Ain't a big deal.

If you stubble on your kids sleep over to find them naked and "manipulating" each other should you end sleep overs?

I have never allowed them. ....

why? Did you have a bad experience at one as a child?
It just seems like an experience every child should have. I feel like not letting them have a sleep over is like never buying them a bike. :shrug:

For those who have here grown up kids, at what age the kids stopped sleepovers? When is it not cool anymore?

Practically speaking, maybe when they can drive and go home on their own?



my ldest is 16yrs and he still has his freinds to stay over for the nihgt, i still sleep over at my friends house aswell, and i am......36

I sometimes get drunk at my friend's apartment and play Starcraft all night and pass out there. Ain't a big deal.

It would have been more helpful if you told us how long your parents let your friends sleep over...

why? Did you have a bad experience at one as a child?

Maybe because the poster has 2 different set of ages and 2 different genders. I can see that this can be a problem, when the 6 years difference makes it difficult to mix kids up...

my ldest is 16yrs and he still has his freinds to stay over for the nihgt, i still sleep over at my friends house aswell, and i am......36

Do the 2 things happen at the same time? What your friend's parents think of your sleeping over? :)

I'm 17 anmd I went to a sleepover a while ago...

Well, it was called a sleepover, in practice it was more of a 'stay-up-til-5-laughing-and-being-hyper-over.

I don't get what is so bad about it unless you just don't want other kids in your house which would probably my greatest excuse. My brother and I are pretty far apart in age, but I don't really see a problem with mixing children of different ages. When my friends were over he would sort of hang around in the background until he got bored and when his friends were over I just avoided them. When there are big gaps in age I think there are few shared interests, unless you think your older kids might molest the younger ones or something like that

For those who have here grown up kids, at what age the kids stopped sleepovers? When is it not cool anymore?I don't have kids but I never had sleepovers when I was one. My parents kept us rather isolated so I didn't have a lot of company, period, and I grew up to be too much of a loner.Practically speaking, maybe when they can drive and go home on their own?Kids don't do sleepovers because they can't get home. They do sleepovers because sleepovers are fun. You must be like me, never had one yourself, so you don't understand what goes on in one!

It would have been so nice to have the experience, but our house was small and half of my room was taken up by my model railroad, so there was only space for my dog and me. They would have exploded if I suggested spending the night at someone else's house; they were way too protective and didn't trust anybody or their parents. I wasn't allowed to date until the summer I turned 16.Well, we just have a sleepover tonight and the kids are almost 16. Generally I don't like much noise, so when they are over, I can't sleep very well, let's just put it this way.Kids are noisy. How did you make it this far through parenthood? :)Now here is what I don't get, some of the kids live like 2 minutes walk away, so even at 1 am I would rather go walk home and sleep in my own bed instead of on the floor, but that is just me. I assume they are too lazy to go home. The funniest part is that nobody sleeps in the bed,but on any other furniture.It's a social thing, you're just not getting it. Camaraderie, rites of passage, all that stuff.What is the difference between playing games at 1 am or 11 am? Because when they stay up late, then they sleep late. So why not just go to sleep in at a decent hour and get up earlier?You talk like you've forgotten what it was like to be a kid. I see that in a lot of parents, it must be an occupational hazard. They remember every stupid and dangerous thing they did, but not the fun they had, much less why it was fun. When you never have to be a parent it's easier to keep in touch with the child inside you.

I remember once reading about a guy who was a master at designing toys and playground equipment. People always said, "But you don't have any children. How can you know what they like?" He said, "You don't seem to realize that I was once a child myself."What you guys don't do sleepovers anymore? I mean, we don't sit under the blankets with a flashlight anymore, but that's cause we can set our own bedtimes. Been known to go out for a beer too. In slippers.In college, in on-campus housing, it was pretty common to crash on the floor in somebody else's room during a bull session, or in the common area.If you have sex with the other person, does that not count?Um, that sort of thing hadn't quite gotten started in college housing in my day. I'm three years too old to be a Baby Boomer and I think they inaugurated the practice. But once we moved off campus, the Sexual Revolution had started and there were no rules.I don't think sleepovers ever stop, its part of the human experience.Oh yeah. When I was in college and a bunch of us lived off campus in a rental, we had friends sleeping over all the time. I finally got to have the experience. In the era of the Flower Children, sleepovers sometimes lasted several days or weeks. Some people tolerated them so well and even enjoyed them that their homes became "crash pads." I had a friend who, as an adult with a job, every single time I went to her house, she had somebody new sleeping in her spare bedroom and a couple more in the living room. She just loved it.

The distinction between "putting a guest up" and "a sleepover" got pretty blurry. When I traveled sometimes I'd stay with friends in my sleeping bag, and there were other people there who lived in town and were just staying for the fun, and others who were there because they needed a place to stay. This was particularly common among musicians. The Grateful Dead model!

Sleepovers even at age 14, in mixed sex always ends with boys masturbation and sometimes the girls with help (from personal experience many centuries ago!).

Well, I am a light sleeper and even little noises wake me up. Also, just in principle I don't see the need to stay up until 6 am, then sleep until 2 pm...



I am a light sleeper to. But come on let them have some fun. When they stay up until 6am or whatever it isn't a school night. I figure I just let them be and have fun, because it doesn't happen on a regular basis.

Sometimes in the summer they set up the big tent in the backyard and my 2 boys and his buddy come over and they sleep out there. They have the portable DVD player and Nintendo Ds, flashlights, snacks..... They have alot of fun.

If you stubble on your kids sleep over to find them naked and "manipulating" each other should you end sleep overs?

I think there is a line between "body" buddies and actual buddies ;)

mixed sex sleepovers don't always end up as sex parties. In fact I think most of the time they don't.

mixed sex sleepovers don't always end up as sex parties. In fact I think most of the time they don't.

I was not talking about mixed sex sleep overs: children of the same sex experiment with each other.

I was not talking about mixed sex sleep overs: children of the same sex experiment with each other.

yep! Me and my girl cousins did. They were better at it than I was, so I think they practiced together.

Sleepovers even at age 14, in mixed sex always ends with boys masturbation and sometimes the girls with help (from personal experience many centuries ago!).I knew of a few opposite-sex sleepovers among children young enough to live with their parents but old enough to be sexually mature--back in the 1970s, when a few people too old to be hippies were nonetheless compulsively enlisting their children into the Sexual Revolution. I'd be flabbergasted to find out that those children grew up and now provide such opportunities for their children.

Is any parent out there actually hosting opposite-sex sleepovers???

i wonder if sleep overs are natures way of introducing us to cohabitation in order to be ready for that step when dating becomes a partnership

yep! Me and my girl cousins did. They were better at it than I was, so I think they practiced together.

Now I ask, would you be willing to let that happen with your kids?

EF, do you honestly think you should wrap your kids up in cotton wool to protect them from experimentation?

its natural and i dont see why so many parents invest SO much time trying to prevent there kids doing EXACTLY what THEY themselves did.

EF, do you honestly think you should wrap your kids up in cotton wool to protect them from experimentation?

its natural and i dont see why so many parents invest SO much time trying to prevent there kids doing EXACTLY what THEY themselves did.

I was not saying any such thing! I was asking if others thought it should be prevented, if not I see no reason slumber parties need to be stopped at any age.

I hate when people say "it natural": dieing at age 40 from parasites from years of eating mammoth meat and living in a cave covered in your own waste is natural, making sweet love to your sister because she the only women for miles around is "natural", getting ass raped by the neighboring tribe, then murder, and then your sister/wife is now their sex slave is "natural". Your going to have to come up with a better excuse then "it natural" how about "it does no harm"?

They never end, by the time people can drive they tend to also drink and get pissed up.
I normally sleep at a mates house of a Friday night after pub/club/pissup.

sleepovers stop at a certain age, but start again when you're too shit-faced to go home, so you sleep on a buddies couch!

If you stubble on your kids sleep over to find them naked and "manipulating" each other should you end sleep overs?

I wouldn't stop it, so long as both parties are conscious.

Maybe because the poster has 2 different set of ages and 2 different genders. I can see that this can be a problem, when the 6 years difference makes it difficult to mix kids up...



Do the 2 things happen at the same time? What your friend's parents think of your sleeping over? :)



lol, sorry i should've given you more information, my friend is married and when her husband is away, we get together have too many glasses of wine and just fall asleep where we sit!

I was not saying any such thing! I was asking if others thought it should be prevented, if not I see no reason slumber parties need to be stopped at any age.

I hate when people say "it natural": dieing at age 40 from parasites from years of eating mammoth meat and living in a cave covered in your own waste is natural, making sweet love to your sister because she the only women for miles around is "natural", getting ass raped by the neighboring tribe, then murder, and then your sister/wife is now their sex slave is "natural". Your going to have to come up with a better excuse then "it natural" how about "it does no harm"?

actually i wasnt talking about natural i was talking about HIPOCRASY. If you did it then you can hardly prevent your kids from doing it

they dont and should'nt
redefine sleepover to orgy

honey, i am having some girlfriends sleepover
yay!

actually i wasnt talking about natural i was talking about HIPOCRASY. If you did it then you can hardly prevent your kids from doing it

So if you took acid as a kid...

I haven't stopped having sleep overs. Drunk driving isn't cool.

So if you took acid as a kid...Ain't nothin' wrong with acid. Especially compared to some of the shit kids are taking these days.

I'm 17, and sometimes I'll stay at a friend's house for a week at a time.

Now I ask, would you be willing to let that happen with your kids?

As far as I know, it could already be happening. :shrug:Its just curiosity. It didn't scar me any, so....
But I'm a girl, I think we don't have as many hang ups about it. Guys playing with each other?? I don't know. I don't think they would see it as curiosity as much as "oh my God!!! I'm gay!!"

...If you did it then you can hardly prevent your kids from doing it

wanna make a bet? :bugeye: I can prevent my kids from doing lots of things I did.

orleander lets look at that, do you think your parents thought the same thing?
If so and you did it anyway either a) your smarter than them or b) its futile

Im sure when we were living in caves parents thought the same thing and STILL there children would "eat those red berries that made them feel good" just like there parents did.

I wish people would stop trying to wrap there children up in cotton wool, its not healthy.

By the time i was 4 i had already tried to poison myself trying to help mum with the washing but she didnt think she was a bad parent for it. It was just something that happened. By the time my littlest sister was born mum was ACTIVLY trying to get her to have chicken pox BEFORE she started school so that she wouldnt catch them latter. Children are quite resiliant and prone to experiment, as long as those experiments arnt fatel they are PROBABLY a good thing (i am qualifying this so someone doesnt come back with "so you think you should hand your children to a pedifile to experiment with that"

orleander lets look at that, do you think your parents thought the same thing?...

I don't even think my mother contemplated us kids doing half the things we did. It was a whole different generation and both my parents were very sexually inexperienced when they got married. Neither had done drugs and my Mom didn't drink. (Ah, the joy of being Christian!)

I'm raising my kids correctly. I know this because I know them. I know who they are as people, I know what they are doing, and I know they have a strong sense of self. Raising them to have those things is what will keep them from doing the things I don't want them to do.

I don't think you can prevent your kids from doing things you don't want them to, unless you are with them 24/7.

I have been raising them to speak openly about things. I have always taught them to have manners and right from wrong. I know they are good kids and don't do some of the things other kids do. But I am not that naive to think that I control everything they do, when I am not around. Kids can be pretty sneaky! I know I was a kid once ;)


Shit my mom "thought" she knew everything I was up to. If she really knew everything I was doing, I would probably be dead right now.

HA, my parents rasied me "correctly to" however when i got depressed and started to think about suicide i started smoking (something i had abhored till then), i smoked weed and even did speed once.

No matter what you do or how good a mother you are your kids will find ways to do what THEY want to do and all you can do is educate them on your own experiances and hope you have an honest enough relationship that they can talk to you

My parents didnt even know i was depressed untill the cops rocked up on there door one night to find me because i had OD'ed on sleeping pills and a guy who used to be here was kind and smart enough to call the cops from the US to tell them

I made my mistakes because I was sheltered, uninformed, and naive. I was raised wrapped in cotton wool. My children are not. I have not raised my children to be virgins til marriage. They will not waste 2 years of their life on a sexual deviant.

believe me, my kids will not make the mistakes I did because I will not let that happen.

your probably right, they PROBABLY wont make YOUR mestakes they will make there OWN mestakes. Thats how we learn, not by what we do right but rather by what we fuck up

Thats why nests (in the biological sence) are so important and why its called trial and error rather than trial and corect. Its what the scientific method is based on

...If you did it then you can hardly prevent your kids from doing it

This is what you said, and what I disagreed with.
No, I can't prevent them from making their own mistakes, but I can prevent them from doing what I did.

Shit my mom "thought" she knew everything I was up to. If she really knew everything I was doing, I would probably be dead right now.

Do the quotation marks mean that she was only pretending to think that?

your probably right, they PROBABLY wont make YOUR mestakes they will make there OWN mestakes.

I agree. I know ppl that were perfect parents. They raised their kids better than most. The kids still got into trouble later on in life and the parents had no idea where they went wrong. How could this happen? We did everything right..........:shrug:

It happens! I hope and pray that my kids stay on the road I am teaching them. But you can't MAKE them not do what you don't want them too. When they get older they will make their own decisions. All we can hope is that what we taught them sinks in and they make the right decisions. But that always doesn't happen.

If you dont mind can i use your example of not having sex till your married

as far as encoraging them not to wait untill they get locked into a marrage to try sex your right, you can to some exstent encorage them to do that by various subtle means for instance alowing there GF's BF's whatever to stay over, providing condoms ect and making sexual discussion ok

But you cant STOP them making that choice either if they chose to. Your not the ONLY infulance in there lives (as much as parents want to be). They have friends, schools, maybe chuch (wether the parents are religious or not), the media.

Sociaty as a whole atempts to infulance children as it should, cultural evolution is not perfect any more than bilogical evolution is. Actually thats incorect, i really mean genetic copying isnt perfect which ALOWS bilogical evolution just as cultural "copying mestakes" alows cultural evolution

As i said we LEARN and grow from our mestakes, and wether they are the same ones my parents made (like in my dads case getting so drunk he fell through a shower screen) wont stop ME getting so drunk i ended up asking my "mummy take me to bed" and pissing on the back fence at my 18th birthday or ending up charged with a D&D because i was so pissed off at the people in the movie in front of me i forgot to watch what i was drinking or different ones (like trying weed, as far as i know they never did) we will make them

shorty_37 no all you can do is be there for them when they MAKE those mestakes and make sure its safe for them to come to you and talk to you no matter what they have done (wether its something you aprove of or not)

shorty_37 no all you can do is be there for them when they MAKE those mestakes and make sure its safe for them to come to you and talk to you no matter what they have done (wether its something you aprove of or not)

As long as they don't get a sex change and get pregnant :eek: lol

...as far as encoraging them not to wait untill they get locked into a marrage to try sex your right, you can to some exstent encorage them to do that by various subtle means for instance alowing there GF's BF's whatever to stay over, providing condoms ect and making sexual discussion ok....

you have lost your ever lovin mind if you think I will ever do that. We talk about sex and I have given my son condoms and when my daughter gets older, she will have birth control, but no sleep overs. NO sleep overs.

then how exactly do you think they will be able to avoid YOUR mestake if you dont give them a safe place to do it?

Shorty i actually knew someone going through a sex change (i cant rember which way now). They were one of the nicest people i have met actually, looked like a rather efeminate guy:p

then how exactly do you think they will be able to avoid YOUR mestake if you dont give them a safe place to do it?...

Like a lot of my friends did. In a vehicle or on a blanket under the stars. Or at the other person's house. I can give approval for my child, but when it involves someone else's child....No.

Orleander, can i just make one comment that MAY offend you or may not (i dont mean it to be offensive)

If you think about the mestake your refering to, how much easier on you would the situation have been if you knew help was only down the hall (or whatever) if you needed it? If you could have gone straight to your parents and known that not only wouldnt they judge you for it but that they could give you the imidiate help to get rid of the situation (the guy in this case) right then and there. How many girls (and guys as well) are raped because they arnt in a situation where they feel they can say NO and not only have it lissioned to but get help in a few seconds from there parents if its not

then how exactly do you think they will be able to avoid YOUR mestake if you dont give them a safe place to do it?



And at what age do you think you should be giving this safe place for them to do it?

GOD DAMN IT!! I agree with Orleander on this one. I won't be letting them have their girlfriends over for sleepovers.

Forget male rape for one miniute

How many inexperianced girls are date raped each year because they start something and then change there mind and the guy wont stop?

How many LESS would happen if that happened with "daddy" a scream distance away if needed

Personally i think in worrying about your own feelings rather than the protection of your children your being selfish

I agree with you.. to a point, my dad didn't believe in "date rape" he strongly felt and instilled in me that if i lead a guy on to that point then i was to go through with the act.. and let me tell ya i had a lot of guilt feelings, about that for a long time!!
I don't think that any girl in her right mind would yell for daddy in the next room if a guy was wanting to take it further then she did. They still want to be looked at as sweet and innocent and all that good stuff, i couldn't see it working.
and giving a child the freedom to have sex (not that they need it)and the protection needed is far different from offering them a bed! Give me a break, thats almost pushing them into having sex, i couldn't do it no way.
you can call it selfish if you like, the only things i have asked of my children prior to having sex is that they are "inlove" with the person, that they use protection and that they be damn sure there ready too.

ok, honest show of hands here: who HAS NOT had some kind of sexual event as a child involving one or more other children of the same or opposite sex? Now who did not have it during a sleep over?

ok, honest show of hands here: who HAS NOT had some kind of sexual event as a child involving one or more other children of the same or opposite sex? Now who did not have it during a sleep over?

Me, I was a very good girl.:p

ang2223 im sorry you feel that way, i was raised to respect the other person and most of all to respect myself. BOTH partners can stop WHENEVER they want no matter what. I have stopped before my partner and i got off a few times not because i didnt want to do it with her but because other things (including my own feelings) have intruded. If you keep going once your partner (of EITHER sex) withdraws concent THATS RAPE.

And i would MUCH rather if and when i have a daughter (or a son) of an age where they want to experiment, do it in a place where THEY feel safe rather than in a park or a car where they could be forced when they want to stop. That also goes for an enviroment where they could come to me (or my patner) if something goes wrong (like a condom breaking)

Hell that happened to me and it was one of the worst experiances of my life. My partner and i are inteligent enough to know what to do (ie go STRAIGHT to the chemist) but i know a girl who isnt that smart and she had sex without a condom and didnt know what to do. She rang my partner in tears because she thought she was pregnant rather than going and getting the MAP. I swear NONE of my children will be:
a) that stupid (if i have to drum safe sex (in BOTH sences of the word) down there throats every day i will
or b) that alone that they cant come to myself or my partner to help them deal with the situation

I would rather stop a rape than deal with the aftermath again and i would DEFINITLY prefer that my child never had to go through that

and i would rather buy the MAP for my child than find out one day that my 14 year old (or however old he\she is) is dealing with a teenage pregnancy and the decisions that go with it.


Oh and SAM i dont belive you:p

You really worry about this rape thing and not telling anyone.
My kids know they can come to me about anything. Letting them have sex in their bedroom seems like an odd way to teach them that they have a voice. Very odd.

I don't think the two have anything to do with each other.

Oh and SAM i dont belive you:p

Its true :bawl:

I believe it. Sex wasn't talked and there was no nudity about so we were curious. If sex was talked about in Sam's house, or nudity in her culture, what was there to wonder about?

My daughter takes showers with her friends sitting on the edge of the tub. My daughter is getting boobs and pubic hair. I think this is the first time some of these girls have ever seen pubic hair. My daughter doesn't understand what the big deal is. I wonder if these girls even know what a period is.

Letting your daughter or son have their friends over in the bathroom while they are taking a shower. Never heard of anybody doing that....Strange! I don't see what is so urgent that it can't wait till they are out of the shower!

I agree. I know ppl that were perfect parents. They raised their kids better than most. The kids still got into trouble later on in life and the parents had no idea where they went wrong. How could this happen? We did everything right.Parents have to accept the fact that times have changed and they are not the only people raising their children. I could make a snide remark about the slogan which takes that point to an absurd extreme, "It takes a whole village to raise a child," since in fact it can be easily done by just two parents, a family structure that is increasingly rare. But the slogan is a clumsy illustration of the fact that in post-industrial civilization children are exposed to the wisdom and foolishness of other adults, as well as their peers, every day. All you can do is try to get a larger portion of their bandwidth, be honest with them, love them, forgive them, and remember that you too once saw the world as a child rather than a parent.you have lost your ever lovin mind if you think I will ever do that. We talk about sex and I have given my son condoms and when my daughter gets older, she will have birth control, but no sleep overs. NO sleep overs.I've never had to deal with a sleepover by children with adults present, in either role, but back in the free-lovin' 1960s and 70s some of my friends let their teenage kids bring their girl/boyfriends over for the night. I thought that really blurred the line between parent and buddy, and made it difficult for them to step back into the role of parent when necessary. I also thought it might leave the kids with some really bizarre memories that some day they'd be discussing with a therapist. It's one thing to not object to your child becoming a sexual being, or even to guide them into that transition, but it's quite another to listen to it happen.ok, honest show of hands here: who HAS NOT had some kind of sexual event as a child involving one or more other children of the same or opposite sex? Now who did not have it during a sleep over?Me. Of course I was a child in the 1950s when that was not as common as it is today. I didn't have any kind of sexual encounter until I was 19.Oh and SAM i dont belive youRemember Sam grew up in India. Things are quite different over there. People get arrested for kissing in public and they don't permit it in their movies. We oversexed Westerners automatically think of the Kama Sutra when we think of India but I don't think it's like that at all.Letting your daughter or son have their friends over in the bathroom while they are taking a shower. Never heard of anybody doing that.Strange! I don't see what is so urgent that it can't wait till they are out of the shower!I'm sure they have that experience at school when they shower after P.E. or team sports. (Do they still have "Physical Education" these days or are those 50-lb backpacks all they need for exercise?) When they go to college and live on campus they'll be using communal showers every day. People carry on conversations, it's just another room.

.Remember Sam grew up in India. Things are quite different over there. People get arrested for kissing in public and they don't permit it in their movies. We oversexed Westerners automatically think of the Kama Sutra when we think of India but I don't think it's like that at all.

Uh Fraggle, no one is arrested for kissing in public and it is pretty common in movies, even in the 1950s!:p

We're circumspect about public display of sex (which can be difficult when the whole family is in a single room), but nudity and talk about sex is not unusual.:)

Fraggle Rocker,

I find it doubtful you never played "doctor"? Dr. Kinsey was big in the 1950's.

okay so i have been thinking about this a lot! Talked to a few friends about it, being raised by the "strange" dad that i was i have to do this fairly often.
Most of the time it takes me a good couple of weeks to get his words out of my head and get my own thoughts straight.
Anyway i am thinking you might be right, maybe when the time comes a "safe place" is best.
Those were my dads thoughts on sex. I have since changed my opinions about such things and my kids know that they can say no when ever the hell they want.. or the other person can. I am just glad i figured that out before they got to old.
its amazing the the "morals" i have in my head that are just there and i don't even know why i feel that way until i am questioned about them.

I am glad this thread was started and thank you for both sides of the coin!!

Actually, I have found the answer:

Sleepovers stop when *I* say: no more sleepovers!

Thats the best i have heard.

Actually, I have found the answer:

Sleepovers stop when *I* say: no more sleepovers!

that's ok in theory, but if you dont let them have sleep overs, what will you do when they're friends invite your kids over for sleep overs, if you say yes, then your the best perant in the world, and if you say no, it makes the friend think you dont like them!!

I still have people sleep round. And i'm 23.

it makes the friend think you dont like them!!

They already KNOW that.... :)

I am trying hard, I already LOWERED my expectations to the ground.They are not bad kids, just dumb....

By the way, this whole thing boils down to my not being able to sleep if there is noise around. So as long as they are making noises 3 miles away, I don't care!!!

By the way, this whole thing boils down to my not being able to sleep if there is noise around. So as long as they are making noises 3 miles away, I don't care!!!

Ok MR GRINCH!! :D

lol,

last night my daughter had her friend to stay over, and it was awful, before i went to bed, i told them both, "now, make sure that you both go to bed at a decent time" so they went to bed at 5:30 this morning, and she is knackered, me being a total bitch (my daughters word) woke her and her friend up at 10:00 by hoovering the stair case!

she now hates me,

That's a cool trick, the hoover. I did that once, for fairness' sake. If they don't let me sleep by night, why should I let them sleep by day? :)

That's a cool trick, the hoover. I did that once, for fairness' sake. If they don't let me sleep by night, why should I let them sleep by day? :)


she thinks that was a low thing to do, but hey, if i can't sleep, because she woke her brother up, then why the hell should she sleep all day!!

I find it doubtful you never played "doctor"? Dr. Kinsey was big in the 1950's.Not with children. You don't seem to understand that in those days adolescence was an extended childhood. We didn't have adult fun but we didn't have adult responsibilities either. It was really rare for a high school kid to own a car; the parking lot was full of bicycles. (Driving age was 16 in those days and we all got our licenses but that didn't mean we were actually out on the roads.) Nobody I knew ever heard of the Kinsey report until we were in college. Even if I had, I had nobody to play doctor with. I didn't start dating until my senior year and girls were not nearly as casual about sex as they are today. There was about one teen pregnancy in my entire town and it was truly a "scandal."

We were not "young adults" as they're called today. We were kids and we did kid stuff.she thinks that was a low thing to do, but hey, if i can't sleep, because she woke her brother up, then why the hell should she sleep all day!!There's a reason that everybody sleeps at more or less the same time and is up working at more or less the same time, even in the modern era when jobs are more flexible. Kids need to learn about that and you gave them a good lesson.

Not with children. You don't seem to understand that in those days adolescence was an extended childhood. We didn't have adult fun but we didn't have adult responsibilities either. It was really rare for a high school kid to own a car; the parking lot was full of bicycles. (Driving age was 16 in those days and we all got our licenses but that didn't mean we were actually out on the roads.) Nobody I knew ever heard of the Kinsey report until we were in college. Even if I had, I had nobody to play doctor with. I didn't start dating until my senior year and girls were not nearly as casual about sex as they are today. There was about one teen pregnancy in my entire town and it was truly a "scandal."

We were not "young adults" as they're called today. We were kids and we did kid stuff.There's a reason that everybody sleeps at more or less the same time and is up working at more or less the same time, even in the modern era when jobs are more flexible. Kids need to learn about that and you gave them a good lesson.

Well I'm sure the world was different in the 50's, but how much of what you say is statistical and how much is antidotal. For example 50% of house wives were committing adultery in the 50's, statistically teen pregnancy rates were higher in the 1950's then today (http://parentingteens.about.com/library/sp/nbirthrate1.htm) so I honestly don't believe the 'american pie, atomic family, happy days' 1950's facade.

....statistically teen pregnancy rates were higher in the 1950's then today (http://parentingteens.about.com/library/sp/nbirthrate1.htm)....

yes, but most of them were married.

yes, but most of them were married.

No, it is true that a married teenager (or that marriage was the outcome of teenage pregnancy) was more popular back then then it is today, the median for marriage back then was 20.3, compared to todays 26, which means a marriage at 15-17 was still odd even in the 1950's

I still have people sleep round. And i'm 23.

I do as well :D

No, it is true that a married teenager (or that marriage was the outcome of teenage pregnancy) was more popular back then then it is today, the median for marriage back then was 20.3, compared to todays 26, which means a marriage at 15-17 was still odd even in the 1950's

so an eighteen or nineteen yr old getting pregnant wasn't considered a teen pregnancy?

should be after primary school ends :P

-------
http://wikichem.net

I think there's a transition point where a "sleepover" becomes "crashing at someone's place". Other than that, not sure why sleepovers have a childish connotation to them...

I was going to say that. It's like when you're a kid you have sleepovers because it's fun and exciting and you get to see your friends longer and play with them when you wake up. When you're older, it's more crashing because one or several of you are drunk.

I think after a certain age, if they are able to, people prefer to wake up in their own place instead of someone else's.

I think there's a transition point where a "sleepover" becomes "crashing at someone's place". Other than that, not sure why sleepovers have a childish connotation to them...

true.
My daughter still goes to slumber parties, by son just goes to...hmmm, I don't know what they call them.
For my son's 17th birthday, we had about 8 guys over here. We set up 4 TVs upstairs, set up a buffet of snack foods in the kitchen and we left for the day. When we got home about 6 of them were still here. They all brought a change of clothes and toothbrushes over in their backpacks and they spent the night. I suppose it was a slumber party.

true.
My daughter still goes to slumber parties, by son just goes to...hmmm, I don't know what they call them.
For my son's 17th birthday, we had about 8 guys over here. We set up 4 TVs upstairs, set up a buffet of snack foods in the kitchen and we left for the day. When we got home about 6 of them were still here. They all brought a change of clothes and toothbrushes over in their backpacks and they spent the night. I suppose it was a slumber party.


thats what we did for my eldest sons birthday, but i didnt leave the house!

i made sure that there was plenty of food, they had the run of the conservatory, and they had plenty to drink soft and harder drinks!!

I tell my boys either they can have a big party with their friends or have just a family thing and get something (big) that they really want. I think my older one is going to go for the PS3 instead of having a party with his friends.

I tell my boys either they can have a big party with their friends or have just a family thing and get something (big) that they really want. I think my older one is going to go for the PS3 instead of having a party with his friends.


yeah my son this year is having the game "rock band"

Well I'm sure the world was different in the 50's, but how much of what you say is statistical and how much is antidotal. For example 50% of house wives were committing adultery in the 50's, statistically teen pregnancy rates were higher in the 1950's then today so I honestly don't believe the 'american pie, atomic family, happy days' 1950's facade.Sorry, I should not have said "teen pregnancy" since that includes 18 and even 19-year-olds, as the chart in your citation clearly states. Unlike today, very few kids went on to college, so when high school was over they moved out and became "emancipated minors," in fact if not in law. When I went off to college in 1960 it was not remarkable for 18-year-olds to have sex and rather common for 19-year-olds, so I'm sure the stats were the same or even higher for the demographic that didn't go to college. But for the 17-year-olds who were seniors in high school and living with their parents, the numbers were far lower, low enough that pregnancies in that age group were indeed remarkable. And virtually zero in the lower grades.

The demarcation was: Do you live with your parents? Kids who did, for the most part, did not have sex. We didn't have the freedom kids have today. Nowhere to go and no cars to get there. Working mothers were not the norm and neither was divorce, so most kids had one parent at home at all times. so an eighteen or nineteen yr old getting pregnant wasn't considered a teen pregnancy?It is in the stats he provided at the URL he gave. Sorry, I was talking about high school-age. Even in the 1950s adolescence was sort of finished at 18, unless you went to a weird all-boys university for geeks like I did, where growing up was not part of the curriculum.I was going to say that. It's like when you're a kid you have sleepovers because it's fun and exciting and you get to see your friends longer and play with them when you wake up. When you're older, it's more crashing because one or several of you are drunk. I think after a certain age, if they are able to, people prefer to wake up in their own place instead of someone else's.In "the sixties," that misnamed twelve-year period from the first Beatles record to the dawn of Disco, there were a lot of people who really didn't have "their own place." They generally didn't have jobs either, or at best were struggling musicians, so they survived by sponging off of the rest of us. Life was cheap and easy back then so those of us who had jobs and places to live were pretty generous to our friends. For one thing, the hippies always brought dope.

yeah my son this year is having the game "rock band"

Mine want that too!

Sorry, I should not have said "teen pregnancy" since that includes 18 and even 19-year-olds,

Semantically speaking I don't think we mean 18-19 years old when we talk about teenagers....At least I don't... Once you are in college you are not a teenager... :)

Fraggle Rocker,

15-17 year olds still had more pregnancies back in the 1950's then today.

Orleander,

You can count it or not both groups (15-17, 18-19) were higher then, then today.

Mine want that too!

they have just announced the price of it, £170, so i promptly went and put a deposit on it over the net today, from my local gamee station

I got my answer:

http://www.philly.com/philly/hp/news_update/20080613_Women_s_lawyers_dispute_account_of_sex_pa rty.html

Sleepovers stop, when the police arrest the moms because they get involved with the boys...

"Honeycutt is charged with statutory sexual assault and other crimes after two boys, 15 and 14, accused her of engaging in sexual activity with them April 11 and 12 at Long-Higham's house."

Hey, her name is Honeycutt!!!!

I got my answer:

http://www.philly.com/philly/hp/news_update/20080613_Women_s_lawyers_dispute_account_of_sex_pa rty.html

Sleepovers stop, when the police arrest the moms because they get involved with the boys...

"Honeycutt is charged with statutory sexual assault and other crimes after two boys, 15 and 14, accused her of engaging in sexual activity with them April 11 and 12 at Long-Higham's house."

Hey, her name is Honeycutt!!!!

http://i219.photobucket.com/albums/cc59/leocusp9/35afcd08.jpg

I know when my son's friends come over they usually sit on the couch and talk to me a while before they ask if my son is home. A few of their fathers now do the same when they come over to pick them up.
I think it has a lot to do with me sending choc chip cookies, apple dumplings, cupcakes, etc home with them.
Sex....that's just....uck. a 14 yr old? How could that possibly be worth it?

I know when my son's friends come over they usually sit on the couch and talk to me a while before they ask if my son is home. A few of their fathers now do the same when they come over to pick them up.
I think it has a lot to do with me sending choc chip cookies, apple dumplings, cupcakes, etc home with them.
Sex....that's just....uck. a 14 yr old? How could that possibly be worth it?Some moms offer visiters cookies, other moms ................................

i find it sad that people are treating that as a joke. if it was the other way around that artical would be in ethics with a how discusting is this, i hope he gets life ect

if it was the other way around

but that is the whole point, there is a HUGE difference between the 2...

i find it sad that people are treating that as a joke. if it was the other way around that artical would be in ethics with a how discusting is this, i hope he gets life ect

Humm, you mean if it was a father loving up his daughters sleep over companions, yes i do see a difference in response: when its a women the commits statutory rape it is consider laughably weird and the women is considered mentally disturbed, but when a man does it it's consider evil and the man is considered a pedophile.

i find it sad that people are treating that as a joke. if it was the other way around that artical would be in ethics with a how discusting is this, i hope he gets life ect
Back in high school a girl I knew told me about how this lady I'd babysat for (and whose niece I later went out with) had gone into great detail about her plans to seduce me. I was a bit incredulous about the whole thing, and don't really know to this day whether or not she was just putting me on, but I assure you that fear of being molested never entered my mind. The only thing I was afraid of if her plan had come to fruition was her biker husband.

Men and women aren't the same. That's just the way it is. A male "get's lucky". A female "puts out". A male "becomes a man", a female "loses her virtue".

what a load of crap. The law says you cant concent till you are 16 (or 18 in some area's). There for wether you "want it" or not is compleatly and UTTERLY irrelivent. IF she did it she is a criminal and should be treated EXACTLY the same.

Also i find your coments compleatly sexist, who ever said women dont want sex for christ sake? Its got NOTHING to do with wether the under age person wants it or not only wether they can LEGALLY CONCENT.

Mad as a doctor if your pt hit on you would you go for it because "she wants it"?
HELL NO, its a breach of trust and medical ethics. This is no different

Didn't you hear, Asguard? Women hate sex, yet men will kill to get it.

I am not sure whom Asguard is addressing but I agree with Mad, there is a double standard in this case, even if the law treats them as same..

what a load of crap. The law says you cant concent till you are 16 (or 18 in some area's). There for wether you "want it" or not is compleatly and UTTERLY irrelivent. IF she did it she is a criminal and should be treated EXACTLY the same.Sure, sure. That's why most of these women aren't even charged or are given a slap on the wrist, while the men are thrown in prison.
Also i find your coments compleatly sexist, who ever said women dont want sex for christ sake?
When did I say that? Didn't my story involve a woman wanting sex?
Its got NOTHING to do with wether the under age person wants it or not only wether they can LEGALLY CONCENT.Indeed. Technically true. But in the minds of prosecutors/police/the public @ large it's about some boy "getting lucky". Whereas, if the victim is a female, it's about some lecherous creepy old dude defiling the virtue of our young girls.:eek:

As long as I got a musical instrument, my friends got musical instruments... I'll be 50 years old and still having sleep overs. :D

At 50 you should start thinking about moving out your aging parents house, you idiot...

my daughter had her friend stay over this weekend and she is 14, there is nothing wrong with it, (apart from the chatting at 4 in the morning, and making coffee at 3 in the morning)

i dont see anything bad about it! kids need friends to stay over from time to time! its not healthy for the kids to just be alone

There is nothing wrong about it if:

1. They respect the parents' wishes and privacy.
2. They don't mess up the house.

neither is usually the case... :(

madanthonywayne,

Well I would agree men and women on average have different behaviors and thought processes towards sex (how much is nature and how much is nuture is a different argument), but their are always outliars and those beyond P10 and in a world of billions there are a whole lot these people! Now my policy would be to live and let live, when someone want their partner to unload a giant steaming pile of shit in s/he mouth, well as long as it between consenting adults that their business (and for the love of god keep that business between your selfs, don't make a video online to mindrape the rest of us like tubegirl and 2girls1cup.) Now child and animals are different because they can't consent and deathsex does not leave anyone to admit consenting willingly.

There is nothing wrong about it if:

1. They respect the parents' wishes and privacy.
2. They don't mess up the house.

neither is usually the case... :(

My kids are upstairs at the other end of the house. I never hear a peep. I lay the food out buffet style and go to bed. If they wake me up, the food and pop get put away. Its an easy way to train friends to be quiet. :D

I believe that when people stop having sleep-overs, thats when they begin to age dramatically, as a direct result, wrinkles begin to appear within minutes, their life force being visually sucked from their bodies. Sleep overs make you young!

Me and my friends still all sleep over at each others houses/apartments we are all aged from 20-25 roughly. Its still fun we do it about once or twice per month and is usualy because we realise its light outside and might aswell not go home.


peace.

no, sleep-overs are no good

Sleep overs stop around 15 or so :/ unless they been mating

Just thought this relevant in some way: what does your child have with them during sleep-overs? (http://www.imagepoop.com/image/835/Harry-Potter-s-Vibrating-Broomstick-Recalled.html)

At 50 you should start thinking about moving out your aging parents house, you idiot...

Oh, sure. Mooch off your folks for 50 years and then move out just when they start getting decrepit and could use some help.
What an ingrate.

Well, it is offtopic and you quoted the wrong person...

Well I don't but I'll add my 2 cents worth. At 12 I'd think that no one should be allowed to sleep over unless they are the same sex.

What if they are gay?