I recently had an argument with a friend about fetishes. I remain on the standpoint that a fetish, whether sexual or intellectual, is a subconsious elect of exaggerating pleasure or enjoyment. Enjoyment in studying is magnified by reading on subjects interesting to the reader, just like incorporating objects or actions of fetish nature into sexual encounters increases the pleasure felt by the recipient. Just because a person has a fetish doesn't mean that they are incapable of otherwise enjoying their sex-lives, it just means that they are more guarenteed to enjoy them when their subconsious desires are so filled. My buddy's argument was that, a fetish inhibits the arousal of the individual within any other circumstances, and that the fetish is a "flaw" because of its detriment to other mental and metraphysical actions. Well, is it helpful or hindering to have a fetish?

How would he know that? Is he fighting some personal fetish?

How would he know that? Is he fighting some personal fetish?
well actually we both have biased views; i have a fetish, tho a mild one, and he has none. or rather, maybe he's afraid to admit that he has one. he does have obsessive actions, like he LOVES to work out. so, in turn, are such severe desires fetishes in disguise?

I am also a gym rat but I don't consider it a fetish. A fetish may inhibit arousal in other circumstances but not necessarily so. I wouldn't consider it a flaw unless i was in a relationship with someone who had a fetish that did not interest me. How is it detrimental to other mental and metraphysical action? I don't have any particular sexual fetish, I wonder why someone with a fetish wouldnt eventually be bored with a particular stimuli. I mean to obsess about one specific thing, Isnt it more interesting to open ones attention, widen it to include other aspects of physicality, sensuality or what have you? widen ones sexual consciousness

I am also a gym rat but I don't consider it a fetish. A fetish may inhibit arousal in other circumstances but not necessarily so. I wouldn't consider it a flaw unless i was in a relationship with someone who had a fetish that did not interest me. How is it detrimental to other mental and metraphysical action? I don't have any particular sexual fetish, I wonder why someone with a fetish wouldnt eventually be bored with a particular stimuli. I mean to obsess about one specific thing, Isnt it more interesting to open ones attention, widen it to include other aspects of physicality, sensuality or what have you? widen ones sexual consciousness

just because a person has a fetish doesnt limit their focus sexually or otherwise to that focus. and my example of working out was to relate the concept of a fetish to a strong desire or habitual desire. because on some level, they are different degrees of the same thing. he has no flaw, and nor do you, for enjoying working out. just like someone with an attraction to violence or a particular enjoyment of flails and floggings doesnt have a flaw, just an exaggerated turn on. i dont understand how it could be a foible in someone to understand their own stimuli so well.

I agree that self knowlege is never a foible. But how is working out and sexual desire different degrees of the same thing? Personally I don't think there is anything wrong with having a sexual fetish even if it entails having yourself flogged or whatever, Paraphilia is very complex and not everyone is hard wired towards a paraphilic turn on. I have no tolerance for physical pain and could never be sexually aroused by it, also find it difficult to understand why people are turned on by spanking. I dont get it ya know, but I don't necessarily think it is flawed. Sexual psycho drama is exciting but how that plays itself out and what that entails is different for everyone.

any desire falls on the same level as another desire, whether it be a habit or a sexual one. all are part of an urge felt subconsiously, whether the individual realizes it or not. and thank you, for agreeing, because my paraphilia is not a flaw, and you helped prove my point.

Have you discovered why you have a particular fetish? I mean do you have any insight on what experience if any has hard wired you towards a paraphilic? I ask because i am aroused by certain behaviours or attitudes in men and i think some of that is based on childhood experiences involving power. but I don't think that is always the case, I suspect that there are sexual instincts towards a particular turn on that is innate but I could be wrong.