I've come up with a litmus test for determining a TRUE Spartan/Republican. I noticed several of them doing it on the airwaves and was astonished by this feat of overcoming logic and normal human response. Thus, I have devised it be used as a litmus test to see what side of the dividing line you are on - the human side or the Spartan side. The test is devilishly simple and can be done in less than 30 seconds. I urge everyone to give it a go.

The test is this:

Can you say, "$87 billion is NOT a lot of money" without cracking a smile?

Good luck!