Is it wiser to be married or is it preferable to remain a bachelor? Are bachelors in fact smarter than married men?

Dr. Laurence J. Peter authored several books, and to him is attributed the remarkable Peter Principle. Among Peter's many insights is the following:

In a society based on marriage, why do so many men remain bachelors?

It is easy to find a girl and to fall in love when a man is young. The urge is strong, the sap is high, and the powers of selectivity are undeveloped.

“The girl who is easy to get may be hard to take.” – F. Wisely

There are some men who do not fall in love and some who keep falling in love but do not marry. As a man matures sooner or later he reaches the age of discretion. The blood ceases to boil and reason takes over. Instead of rushing into marriage he considers the evidence for or against. After a man reaches a certain age, marriage decreases in value. The urgent appetite for sex decreases. He is now experienced at satisfying his needs without benefit of marriage. He still wants sex, but the price he is willing to pay has slumped.

A bachelor does not grow lonelier as the years pass by. He learns how to live with himself. He satisfies his unique social needs. His companions may consist of members of his own sex or of the opposite sex or any combination of the above. He may dream of the exceptional girl who could excite him to the point where he would give up all this, but while his standards are going up, the quality of what he can get is going down. The available choice of desirable prospective wives gets smaller day by day. As his competence in making a rational selection increases, the desirable selectees decrease.

To estimate his chances of success he looks at his married pals. Most are stalking girls at the office or sneaking off with others’ wives. He concludes that if married men have mistresses or look for sex and love outside of marriage he would not improve his situation by wedlock. A bachelor is a man who looks before he leaps – and then does not leap.

“Bachelors know more about women than married men; if they didn’t, they’d be married, too.” – H.L. Mencken

Do you agree with Peter’s analysis?

Is there a corollary for bachelorettes?

Since the time that Peter wrote this (almost 40 years ago), have any factors changed which would alter the validity of his analysis?

Is Peter’s paradigm equally applicable across the entire range of sociological and anthropological stratifications?

At face value, it sounds reasonable, but as I haven't been a bachelor since age 19, and since as I don't actually know any bachelors, I find it impossible to comment any further. Except to say, that my gut instinct tells me that most bachelors are somehow inadequate and that is the true reason they stay unmarried or without close relationship.

The intellectual excuses put forth by the author may be true only for a minority, because most men are neither intellectual enough nor discerning enough to actually use that type of reasoning.

LOL! The longer a man stays single, the more independent and set in his ways he becomes. What is important, family, love, sex, and so forth becomes less important to him as his own life is his focal point. It's hard to break that lifestyle too. Believe me, I know! I had to change A LOT!!! It wasn't easy in the least. In fact, many times, I almost called it quits in exchange for my independence.

Almost all my friends thought that I would never get married, in fact most of them thought that I was going to back out of the wedding at the last moment. In fact, Shelli admitted afterwards that she even thought I might back out. I had to show them the pictures and video of the wedding to prove that I actually went through with it. Everyone knew how independent and self-absorbed I was and that's the reason they all didn't believe me about getting married. They thought that I was going to back out of it near the end like I did the time before on my ex-fiancee.

It's funny though that you bring this up because before I got married, most married men, especially considerably older men all were advising me to not marry. I know of at least 8 men greater than 60 years old that were telling me to stay single unless I wanted children. It was weird because most of those men have become estranged from their wives. One of them lives downstairs and his wife lives upstairs. They rarely see each other unless it's eating time. Another one goes his way and she goes her way. I guess after being married for so many decades, couples become weary of each other.

Interesting topic Nutter. The bachelors I know are smarter in that they are not distracted by marriage/children and all the time/committment/energy they drain. The men have continued to grow mentally, financially, and spiritually because they have more time to commit. Men distracted by marriage lose a part of themselves. They are broken in half and have to compromise who they are to keep the peace. Many are bored beyond comprehension. Most men I know say they would NEVER get married again.

So much for holy matrimony and the sanctity of marriage. What a curious Christian you are. No, really.

For those who choose marriage I say good luck. You're gonna need it. Paul said it is better to be unmarried. You can serve Jesus better. Christianity teaches to be like Jesus. Jesus wasn't married.

For those who can make marriage work, good for them. It's a task I would never want.

Being married to God is one thing. Living in sin's quite another. I assume you have no plans to enter a convent?

Sandy is a virgin?

It's ironic to think that if everyone followed the advice of Paul, humanity would cease to exist. So, in a sense, God relies on man's lack of self control to keep this whole earth thing going.

Pretty accurate i'd say.

Still there are some people are absolutely happy together...in their little happy lives. Marriage is for the masses.

Nuns don't have to be virgins, provided that they throw away their vibrators.

I assume you have no plans to enter a convent?
I have.

And will you be entering anything when you get there?

Not a virgin but very well-behaved since I got saved. I don't want to sin or be offensive to Him.

And will you be entering anything when you get there?
Eurovision song contest? Maybe not that...

Satistically speaking married men live longer than bachelors.

Also, you are quoting a 40 year old paper???? ???????????

They may live longer but they are less happy. Most feel like they compromised themselves. And not in a good way.

Not a virgin but very well-behaved since I got saved. I don't want to sin or be offensive to Him.

I guess having the picture of some celebrity, pretending you are them, telling people you shave your (|) and having an huge ego about these probably imaginary things isn't offensive to "Him", but it is to me.

I never told anyone I shaved anything. I said I was smooth as silk. Quit twisting my words and back off.

So you're naturally smooth down there?

I never told anyone I shaved anything. I said I was smooth as silk. Quit twisting my words and back off.

You are so filled with hypocrisy and lies I can't stand it anymore, go away or just troll in the "i am so kewl" topics.

And your behavior is so confrontational, hateful, reviling, mean, and arrogant.
You and your friends have been trying to get me banned since I got here.
Put me on ignore or back off. I've have enough of your constant antagonizing bs.:mad:

Where did we try to get you banned?

Your constant attacks and antagonizing behavior is an obvious ploy to get me so ticked off that I say something to get banned for. It's not going to happen. You can't fool/trick me into it. Give up and move on. Nothing to see here...

Say something to get banned for? Like what?

And your behavior is so confrontational, hateful, reviling, mean, and arrogant.
You and your friends have been trying to get me banned since I got here.
Put me on ignore or back off. I've have enough of your constant antagonizing bs.:mad:

I've never tried to get you banned, I would just prefer you go troll somewhere else.

I'm not trolling. I have the same right to be here as you do.

It's ok, just think...sherry trifle...mmmm!

I never told anyone I shaved anything. I said I was smooth as silk. Quit twisting my words and back off.
BULLSHIT!
While you did say you were smooth as silk, you were then asked if you shave your pussy. The next post you made after that was 'yes'. So you DID infact tell us you shaved your pussy.
I can't remember what thread it was though. It was the same one where you said you were smooth as silk. :rolleyes:
You're either a dude, or used to be.

BULLSHIT!
While you did say you were smooth as silk, you were then asked if you shave your pussy. The next post you made after that was 'yes'. So you DID infact tell us you shaved your pussy.
I can't remember what thread it was though. It was the same one where you said you were smooth as silk. :rolleyes:
You're either a dude, or used to be.

As much as I may dislike sandy, it is obvious she was joking about that.

Click. She linked to a bald cat. (http://www.sciforums.com/showthread.php?p=1397089&highlight=smooth#post1397089)

And your behavior is so confrontational, hateful, reviling, mean, and arrogant.
You and your friends have been trying to get me banned since I got here.
Put me on ignore or back off. I've have enough of your constant antagonizing bs.:mad:
And likewise, we've had enough of your trolling, pretending to be a woman, and putting up an avatar of a celebrity claiming it's you, and making posts just to antagonize/piss people off.
I think YOU need to put up or STFU.
If you want to shock every member of this website, put up an actual picture of yourself.

As much as I may dislike sandy, it is obvious she was joking about that.

Click. She linked to a bald cat. (http://www.sciforums.com/showthread.php?p=1397089&highlight=smooth#post1397089)
Well, joking or not, s(he) denied s(he) said that, when s(he) actually did, whether it be a joke or not. That's what I was getting at.

I'm not trolling. I have the same right to be here as you do.

This is not america.

A little piece of you
The little peace in me
Will die
For this is not america

Blossom falls to bloom
This season
Promise not to stare
Too long
For this is not a miracle

There was a time
A storm that blew so pure
For this could be the biggest sky
And I could have
The faintest idea

Snowman melting
From the inside
Falcon spirals
To the ground
So bloody red
Tomorrows clouds

A little piece of you
The little piece in me
Will die
For this is not america

There was a time
A wind that blew so young
For this could be the biggest sky
And I could have the faintest idea

This could be the biggest sky
This could be a miracle

Lyrics and vocals by: David Bowie. One of Manhattan's most pleasant and popular residents.

David bowie, a real patriot!

Lack of pussy + lack of a good job = lack of life.. soon I shall perish, being a bachlor sux

There is more to life than pussy and a job.

not at age 20

There is more to life than pussy and a job.

True. There's beer.

There is more to life than pussy and a job.

There is no more, and life sux

BULLSHIT!
While you did say you were smooth as silk, you were then asked if you shave your pussy. The next post you made after that was 'yes'. So you DID infact tell us you shaved your pussy.
I can't remember what thread it was though. It was the same one where you said you were smooth as silk. :rolleyes:
You're either a dude, or used to be.

No, YOU backoff.:mad: You and your friends have been stalking my posts, personal attacking me, and being brats. I NEVER said I shaved anything. Quit twisting my words. Get a life.:mad:

Your constant attacks and antagonizing behavior is an obvious ploy to get me so ticked off that I say something to get banned for. It's not going to happen. You can't fool/trick me into it. Give up and move on. Nothing to see here...

Ya, these mongers tried to get me banned me too. They hound female members in packs since they just cant stand female wits putting them down.

*Sigh*

If you kiddies cannot behave and actually get back on topic, I will close and Cesspool this thread.

Consider this the first and only warning.

Satistically speaking married men live longer than bachelors.

Also, you are quoting a 40 year old paper???? ???????????


Statistically speaking, an indoor cat lives longer than an outdoor cat. However, he is a ball of fur with a broken spirit. But yes - statistically he does live longer.

And yes, the passage was written almost 40 years ago. Does that matter? Since it was written, have any factors changed which would alter the validity of Mr. Peter's analysis?

Have demographic changes over the past 40 years yielded a scenario which is even more favorable to bachelors and less favorable to bachelorettes?

*Sigh*

If you kiddies cannot behave and actually get back on topic, I will close and Cesspool this thread.

Consider this the first and only warning.

Stop showing us your fucking ARSE. Change your outrageous shameless Avatar. Are u aware that many descent guy and gals dont ever bother read or reply post of such characterless people like u ?

yeah because they didnt get married.


peace.

Stop showing us your fucking ARSE. Change your outrageous shameless Avatar. Are u aware that many descent guy and gals dont ever bother read or reply post of such characterless people like u ?


sometimes i think your serious.


peace.

I never did.
War!

Stop showing us your fucking ARSE. Change your outrageous shameless Avatar. Are u aware that many descent guy and gals dont ever bother read or reply post of such characterless people like u ?

And yet here you are replying to people such as myself.

My avatar is my concern. You, however, are acting like a total "arse". I am not giving you an infraction this time. Don't think I won't next time.

And yet here you are replying to people such as myself.

My avatar is my concern. You, however, are acting like a total "arse". I am not giving you an infraction this time. Don't think I won't next time.

Oh really , So because u can give me a Infraction

U r supposed to given a VIP treatment ?

Well that what NAZI's wanted and thats what brought them down.

Your Avatar is not just your concern its up on my face and thats offensive to me.

U r no woman, u r just a fake who couldnt get a GAY person around so u take pleasure here being seduced by males.

How sad.

Personally I'm so busy with, among other things, hiking, reading, meditating, doing my research, training and having a good time with friends that I don't have any time or need for a girlfriend, even more - wife.

This is heights

I am out of this bull shit forum.

He may dream of the exceptional girl who could excite him to the point where he would give up all this, but while his standards are going up, the quality of what he can get is going down. The available choice of desirable prospective wives gets smaller day by day. As his competence in making a rational selection increases, the desirable selectees decrease.


This is definitely very very true, im 27 (just for reference) and since ive been single for over 2 years - i seem to dedicate alot more time towards aquiring knowledge and self-growth, like reading philosophy, psychology, sociology books.
And yeah the more my awareness increases, the more im also aware that im actually decreasing my odds of finding someone who'll excite me challenge me on a daily basis.
The trick for me these days really isnt about finding someone who matches by criteria in terms of looks, im really not *that* fussed.
Its finding someone with an interesting mind, and someone who has the same emperament as me - very very difficult.

This is definitely very very true, im 27 (just for reference) and since ive been single for over 2 years - i seem to dedicate alot more time towards aquiring knowledge and self-growth, like reading philosophy, psychology, sociology books.
And yeah the more my awareness increases, the more im also aware that im actually decreasing my odds of finding someone who'll excite me challenge me on a daily basis.
The trick for me these days really isnt about finding someone who matches by criteria in terms of looks, im really not *that* fussed.
Its finding someone with an interesting mind, and someone who has the same emperament as me - very very difficult.



Would Peter's assertion that "He may dream of the exceptional girl who could excite him to the point where he would give up all this, but while his standards are going up, the quality of what he can get is going down" be more accurate if it asserted that "the quality of what he will settle for is increasing dramatically"?