Another Movie Thread (movie quotes)

What are some of your favorite movie quotes? Some of mine:

"I have to believe in a world outside my mind, does the world go away when I close my eyes" - Memento

"Every major theme park has problems, look at Disneyland - when it opened nothing worked' 'Yeah but John when the pirates of the Carribean break down the pirates don't eat the tourists."
-Jurassic Park

"I don't need your sympathy I need my Johnson." - The Big Lebowski

"Are you a god?' 'no' 'then die!' 'Ray the next time someone asks you if your a god you say yes!" -Ghostbusters

Also are there any movies that you know all the words to?

I know this is sick but I know Jurassic Park line for Line and I can say all the lines in the Back to the Future series before the actors (but not without watching it).

Thanx,
``````Cactus

 

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" I never did function properly in this climate"

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"We had two bags of grass, seventy-five pellets of mescaline, five sheets of high-powered blotter acid, a saltshaker half-full of cocaine, and a whole galaxy of uppers, downers, laughers, screamers... Also, a quart of tequila, a quart of rum, a case of beer, a pint of raw ether, and two dozen amyls. Not that we needed all that for the trip, but once you get into a serious drug collection, the tendency is to push it as far as you can. "



-Raul Duke AKA Hunter S. Thompson AKA Johnny Depp, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas

 

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This is where I am king...

"It's 106 miles to Chicago, we've got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it's dark and we're wearing sunglasses."
- Elwood (Dan Akroyd), Blues Brothers

"Albert: I want a palimony agreement and I want one now.
Armand: Well I don't have a palimony agreement on me right now. Is tomorrow all right?
Albert: Don't use that tone to me.
Armand: What tone?
Albert: That sarcastic contemptuous tone. That means you know everything because you're a man, and I know nothing because I'm a woman.
Armand: You're not a woman.
Albert: Oh, you bastard!"
- Robin Williams (Armand), Nathan Lane (Albert) in Bird Cage - Possibly the funniest movie ever. Or one of them at least.

"They bought it. Incredible. One of the worst performances of my career and they never doubted it for a second. How can I possibly be expected to handle school on a day like this? This is my ninth sick-day this semester. It’s getting pretty tough coming up with new illnesses. If I go for ten I’ll probably gonna have to barf up a lung. So I better make this one count. The key to faking out the parents is the clammy hands. Its a good non-specific symptom. I’m a big believer in it. A lot of people will tell you that a good phony fever is a dead lock but you get a nervous mother, you could wind up at a doctor’s office, that’s worse than school. You fake a stomach cramp and when you’re bent over moaning and wailing... you lick your palms. It’s a little childish and stupid but then, so is high school. Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it. I do have a test today, that wasn’t bullshit. Its on European Socialism. I mean really, whats the point? I’m not European, I don’t plan on being European so who gives a crap if they’re socialists? They could be fascist anarchists. Still wouldn’t change that fact that I don’t own a car... "I recall.. Central Park in fall... How you tore your dress, what a mess, I confess, its love"... Its not that I condone fascism, or any ism for that matter. Isms in my opinion are not good. A person should not believe in an ism, he should believe in himself. I quote John Lennon, “I don’t believe in Beatles, I just believe in me.” A good point there. Afterall, he was the walrus. I could be the walrus. I’d still have to bum rides of people."
- The great Ferris Bueler...I assume you know from what movie.

"Mr. Shickadance: Ventuuurrraaa!
Ace: Yes, Satan?"
- The great Canuck in Ace Ventura

"Bluto: Over? Did you say "over"? Nothing is over until we decide it is! Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? Hell no!
Otter: Germans?
Boon: Forget it, he's rolling.

Bluto: My advice to you is to start drinking heavily.
Otter: Better listen to him, Flounder. He's pre-med."
- The greatest and most brilliantly insightful movie into human nature, Animal House

"Melvin: Helen the Waitress, Simon the Fag.

Zoe: How do you write women so well?
Melvin: I think of a man and take away reason and accountability."
- As Good As It Gets

"Betelgeuse: Well, I attended Julliard, I lived through the Black Plague and had a pretty good time during that. I've seen The Exorcist about 167 times and it keeps getting funnier every single time I see it! Not to mention the fact that you're talking to a dead guy. Now what do you think? You think I'm qualified?"
- Beetlejuice, the mighty

"John Milton: Who in their right mind, Kevin, could possibly deny that the twentieth century was mine, all of it Kevin, all of it mine?"
- Satan, AKA Al Pacino, Devil's Advocate

"Winston: Do you believe in God?
Ray: Never met him.

Hotel guest: What are you supposed to be, some kind of cosmonaut?
Venkman: No. We're exterimators. Somebody saw a cockroach up on twelfth.
Hotel guest: That's gotta be some cockroach.
Venkman: Bite your head off, man."
- Beetlejuice

"Renton: Relinquishing junk. Stage one, preparation. For this you will need one room which you will not leave. Soothing music. Tomato soup, ten tins of. Mushroom soup, eight tins of, for consumption cold. Ice cream, vanilla, one large tub of. Magnesia, milk of, one bottle. Paracetomal, mouthwash, vitamins. Mineral water, Lucozade, pornography. One mattress. One bucket for urine, one for feces and one for vomitus. One television and one bottle of Valium. Which I've already procured from my mother. Who is, in her own domestic and socially acceptable way also a drug addict. And now I'm ready. All I need is one final hit to soothe the pain while the Valium takes effect."
- Trainspotting

"Cop: I can put you in Queens on the night of the hijacking.
Hockney: Really? I live in Queens, did you put that together yourself, Einstein? Got a team of monkeys working around the clock on this?

Verbal Kint: The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist.

McManis: Old McDonald had a farm. Eee-Eye-Eee-Eye Oh. And on that farm he shot some guys. Eee-Eye-Eee-Eye-Oh!"
- Usual Suspects, starring the great Kevin Spacey

"Wayne: Am I supposed to just turn my back and leave, am I supposed to be a man? Am I supposed say, it's okay, I don't mind, I don't mind? Well I mind, I mind big time! And you know what the worst part of it all is! I never learned to read!
Cassandra:Is that true?
Wayne: Yes, everything except the reading part.

Wayne Campbell: I once thought I had mono for an entire year, It turned out I was just really bored."
- Wayne's World

"Harry: No man can be friends with a woman he finds attractive. He always wants to have sex with her.
Sally: So you are saying that a man can be friends with a woman he finds unattractive?
Harry: No, you pretty much want to nail them too."
- I'm glad someone said it. And even more glad it was Billy Chystal in When Harry Met Sally

"Isaac: I could tell by the sound of your voice over the phone. Very authoritative you know, like the Pope or the computer in 2001.

Yale: You are so self-righteous, you know. I mean we're just people. We're just human beings, you know? You think you're God.
Isaac Davis: I... I gotta model myself after someone.

If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss bank.

I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying.

I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead. Not sick -- not wounded -- dead.

Life is divided into the horrible and the miserable.

Sex without love is an empty experience, but as empty experiences go it's one of the best.

To you I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition.

Don't knock masturbation, it's sex with someone you
love.

And if it turns out that there is a God, I don't believe that he is evil. The worst that can be said is that he's an underachiever.

I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam: I looked into the soul of another boy.

I sold the memoirs of my sex life to a publisher - they are going to make a board game out of it.

If you don't fail now and again, it's a sign you're playing it safe.

More than any time in history mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness, the other to total extinction. Let us pray that we have the wisdom to choose correctly."
- And pretty much everything else Woody Allen ever said

 

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"Now Bob, I want to ask you somthing really, really important: Do you accept Jesus Christ as your lord and personal savior?"
"Please don't shoot"
"Bob"
"Yes!"
"That's really, really nice"
*Bam!*

"What, Bob, you want to hear more of my innermost fucking secrets?!"

Julia in 'Freeway'.

"I may be bad, but I'm very, very good" - Army of Darkness

"Good, bad, I'm the guy with the gun" - Ash, Army of Darkness

Dr.Strangelove, I know practically every line:

"Gentlemen, you can't fight in here! This is the War Room!"

"Mein Fuhrer! I can walk!"

 

MEN IN TIGHTS
(and yes i can quote the whole thing)

Ah me house is on fire
*running around screaming*
theres got to be a better way of doing the credits
THATS RIGHT everytime they want to make a robin hood movie they burn our village down

LEAVE US ALONE MEL BROOKS

wont quote the rest except for some good bits

blinkin they've taken the castle
i thought it was a bit drafty

HA HA
Prepare for the fight scene

Parry, parry, thrust, thrust

What we need is a great feat of strengh
oh contra, now that you are here with me what we have is great strength of feet

I love Mel Brooks's movies
I LOVE space balls

yogart, i hate yogart
even with stawberries

Ludcras speed

What are you cornal sanders? chicken?

i see you have the ring and your swarts is as big as mine (that ones funny if you have seen the film)

FIRE A WORNING SHOOT ACROSS HER NOSE
*zap, zap*
*up with the helmat*
I said across her nose, not up it
*cross eyed man swings around*
im sorry sir im doing my best
who made this man a gunner?
*another crosseyed man*
I did sir, hes my cousin
Who is this man
hes an asshole sir
I know that, whats his name
that is his name, major asshole
and him *indercating the gunner*
yes sir, first rate, gunners class
how many assholes we got on this ship anyway
*every one except the cornall steps forward and raises there hands*
I knew it, im surounded by assholes
*down with the helmat*
KEEP FIRING ASSHOLES

 

Sheila?
Sid 6.7: I'm Oedipus, Hail Guile!
-virtuosity.

the problem with holywood is that they make shit, incomprable, unitelligabel shit.

Misdirection Stan, what the eyes see and the ears hear, the mind believes.
-swordfish.

and for now...

our billy only thinks hes a transexual....
-silence of the lambs


ill think of more later

 

"I've been giving serious thought to eating your wife." - Hannibal

"I Rock" - American Beauty

"There's rocks here, there's trees here - let's drink!" - Men in Tights.

 

you said wet shirt no break,
not piss shirt bend bar.
-shang hai noon

 

That Hannibal line is brilliant in the book.

 

I can quote virtually every line from the Aliens movie:

"Yeah man, Bishop should go!"
"I'm the only one qualified to remote pilot the ship anyway...."

"Apone, Apone, we can't have any firing in there - I wan't you to collect magazines and clips from everyone and no grenades - flamethrowers only."
"Whadda we supposed to use? Harsh Language?"

- we all have to have a hobby!

 

"Bob: Looks like you've been missing quite a bit of work lately.
Peter Gibbons: Well, I wouldn't say I've been MISSING it, Bob."

"Peter Gibbons: It's not that I'm lazy, it's that I just don't care"


"Bob Slydell: If you would, would you walk us through a typical day, for you?
Peter Gibbons: Yeah.
Bob Slydell: Great.
Peter Gibbons: Well, I generally come in at least fifteen minutes late, ah, I use the side door--that way Lumberg can't see me, heh--after that I sorta space out for an hour.
Bob Porter: Da-uh? Space out?
Peter Gibbons: Yeah, I just stare at my desk, but it looks like I'm working. I do that for probably another hour after lunch too, I'd say in a given week I probably only do about fifteen minutes of real, actual, work"


All from the great movie Office space

 

Murtar: Hey riggs do you think the chicken thing helped?
Riggs: No i just wanted to see if you'd do it

Lethal weapon 4

 

From Easy Rider

Wyatt: How's your joint, George?
George: Oh my... I believe it went out. I got to talkin' so much I clean forgot about it... went out.
Wyatt: Well, save it. We'll do it first thing tomorrow morning. Gives you a whole new way of looking at the day.
George: Well, I sure could use that! Yes, I sure could use a little of that!




From Clerks

You get me slapped with a fine, you argue with the customers and I have to patch everything up, you get us thrown out of a funeral by violating the corpse, and then to top it off, you ruin my relationship. I mean, what's your encore? Do you, like, anally rape my mother while pouring sugar in my gas tank?

- Dante Hicks

 

Sherif of rotting ham: THATS A WILD BOAR
robbin: NO thats a wild pig, THATS a wild boar

 

"Ni!"
Monty Python's Quest for the Holy Grail.

"Jehova, Jehova!"
Mony Python's Life of Brian.

LMAO

 

The Simpsons

"Homer: To start press any key. Well where's the "any" key? I see Esc, Ctarl (ctrl), and PigUp (pgup). There doesn't seem to be any any key! Phew. All this computer hacking is making me thirsty. I think I'll order a Tab. Oop! No time for that now, the computer's starting."

 

in the pipe five by five.
-aliens

 

A couple from one of my faves, Fear And Loathing In Las Vegas

"[Watching Dr. Gonzo leave.] There he goes. One of God's own prototypes. Some kind of high powered mutant never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die."

"[At a bizarre circus-themed casino] Bazooko's Circus is what the world would be doing every Saturday night if the Nazis had won the war."

"Look, there's two women fucking a polar bear."

"Few people understand the psychology of dealing with a highway traffic cop. Your normal speeder will panic and immediately pull over to the side. This is wrong. It arouses contempt in the cop-heart. Make the bastard chase you. He will follow."

"We had two bags of grass, seventy-five pellets of mescaline, five sheets of high-powered blotter acid, a salt shaker half-full of cocaine and a whole galaxy of multicolored uppers, downers, screamers, laughers... also a quart of tequila, a quart of rum, a case of Budweiser, a pint of raw ether, and two dozen amyls. But the only thing that worried me was the ether. There is nothing more irresponsible and depraved than a man in the depths of an ether binge, and I knew we would be getting into that rotten stuff sooner or later."

"It's okay. He's just admiring the shape of your skull"

"Narrator: We were somewhere around Barstow, on the edge of the desert, when the drugs began to take hold. I remember saying something like:
Raoul Duke: I feel a bit lightheaded. Maybe you should drive.
Narrator: Suddenly, there was a terrible roar all around us, and the sky was full with what looked like huge bats, all swooping and screeching and diving around the car, and a voice was screaming:
Raoul Duke: Holy Jesus! What are these goddamn animals?!
Acosta: Did you say something?
Raoul Duke: Hm? Nevermind. It's your turn to drive.
Narrator: No point in mentioning these bats, I thought. Poor bastard will see them soon enough."

"Raoul Duke: I want you to understand that this man at the wheel is my attorney. He's not just some dingbat I found on the strip, man. He's a foreigner. I think he's probably Samoan. But that doesn't matter, though, does it? Are you prejudiced?
Hitchhiker: Hell no.
Raoul Duke: I didn't think so. Because in spite of his race, this man is very valuable to me. Oh, shit. I forgot about the beer. You want one?
Hitchhiker: No.
Raoul Duke: How 'bout some ether?
Hitchhiker: What?
Raoul Duke: Never mind"

"(Depp runs into a room and looks around at the mess that some guys made) The idea to flee came quicky (still looking around).......Or(looks around for a longer time).....maybe it didn't."


That last one is GOLD if you see it in the movie while under the influence yourself.

 

Sure is

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billy find me a way out of this hole..

stick around...

CIA got you pushing too many pencils Dilan?

Knock knock...

ALL FROM PREDATOR
ALL IN ARNOLD VOICE

hes dug in like an alabama tic!

i aint got time to bleed!..... you go time to duck?

chewing tobacco, it'll make ya'll a sexual tyranasor, just like me!

ALL PREDATOR
ALL JESSE VENTURA VOICE