So yet another season of American Idol comes to an end...

And once again, as I stand at the cliff's edge and survey the crumbling ruins of popular music, I am filled with a Moses-like consternation. And while the ungrateful swine dance around their hollow golden calf, I lift my copy of <i>OK Computer</i> high above my head and then smash it utterly on the rocks below, whilst I shout above the crackling thunder, "You are unworthy of a good album, you mindless sheep-people!"

Ahem...

Sorry. I just had to get that off my chest.

Now seriously, who did ya vote for -- Diana or Fantasia?

J/K.

Josh

the whole idol concept is a good one, but they screwed up cos there isnt a single good singer in the lot of em

Fantasia all the way. My money was on her from the first show.

You smashed OK Computer ? :bugeye:

Yea that was radiohead's only good album. You should have slipped one of their other cds in the case while they weren't looking. Smash something crappy its not like they know the difference.

I think he was saying that the idol lovers aren't worthy of OK computer, better to destroy the music than allow unworthy ears to foul it.

As far as the show goes I really couldn't care less, the entertainment vale goes to zero once the auditions are over. The audition part is truly great television but the rest is like, Oscar night kind of boring... just excruciatingly lame. To be fair though, I don't really understand the hate it gets, it gives real no-names a shot at the big leagues. I think that's pretty cool over all.

So basically I'm not a fan but also I think it's probably one of the better reality shows on tv, that isn't saying much but it's something.

I hate these friggin´ (insert country) Idol shows. Every single participant should have been gruesomely slaughtered.

And I hate all them damn pop music idiots so much. argh!

Anyone know which season of American Idol is broadcasted right now?
Here in Germany the fifth or sixth just ended. And I hope they stop that damn thing completely.

Why does the show have to be the quest for next whitney houston/mariah carey ripoff? Why cant they let someone take a geetar up there and play a diddy? Why music that is so terrible and sappy? Why are all the contestants so horribly derivative and utterly devoid of a creative bone in their body? Its just so bad it makes me angry.

you know I wonder the exact same thing, I can't figure out why they aren't spinning off into different styles of music. Hip-hop idol, jazz idol, country idol, R&B idol, rock idol, etc, etc. the potential list is endless yet they stick with the lamest of all options. I'm pretty sure the most popular music in the US isn't, as you put it "whitney houston/mariah carey ripoffs", so why would they go that direction? I don't give them much creative credit but you'd think at least they'd follow the money, that's been a mystery to me since they first started the program.

It just doesn't make sense to me, on any level.

I think the spelling mistake in your title sums it up...

I suppose my central beef with American Idol (beyond it being a vehicle for demons to further lower the standards in the U.S.) is the subtext, which goes something like this:

<u>Musical talent</u> has nothing to do with songwriting. Songwriters are ugly people who live underground and compose pretty music for better-looking folks.

<u>Ability to play an instrument</u> is also irrelevant.

<u>Personality</u> is measured by how many times one points at the crowd and/or makes a pained face like one is shitting a porcupine.

<u>Song choice</u> is limited to overplayed maudlin pop ballads with painfully stale lyrics or bland adult contemporary tracks full of phrases like, "On the wings of a dream..." and "Your love will keep me warm..."

<u>Good singing</u> involves plowing up and down the arpeggio of every chord to show one's range and stretching every tonic note into a three-day-long fermata. Those with unique voices will be immediately disqualified. Women=Mariah Carey. Men=Josh Groban. Period.

<u>Being an "American Idol"</u> does not consist of endless nights playing bar gigs, finally getting noticed, working hard to perfect one's craft, writing great songs, and becoming the spontaneous favorite of millions. True success is won by votes on a corporate-driven, 100% manufactured reality show.

Can you imagine Leonard Cohen on American Idol? Bob Dylan? Thom Yorke? Please. "Get a voice, come back and we'll talk..."

Josh

I agree with everything but 2 points.

<u>Personality</u> is measured by how many times one points at the crowd and/or makes a pained face like one is shitting a porcuppine.

that's not much different than many artists that made it the "old fasioned" way

<u>Being an "American Idol"</u> does not consist of endless nights playing bar gigs, finally getting noticed, working hard to perfect one's craft, writing great songs, and becoming the spontaneous favorite of millions. True success is won by votes on a corporate-driven, 100% manufactured reality show.

I suspect that the ones that can actually sing didn't just wake up one morning and think, "I think I'll be a singer now". The people that make it to the end (though the music style makes me dry heave) are fairly talented, most of them must have worked hard before Idol came along to be that polished. In other words I'd be shocked if they hadn't busked and played in crappy bars like everyone else. The beauty of this system is if they are talentless hacks winning american Idol won't help much in the long run, it's just a boost and any musician would be an idiot not to take an opportunity like that.

I agree with everything but 2 points. that's not much different than many artists that made it the "old fasioned" way

Well, it depends on how mainstream we're talking here. I agree that most standard Top-40 artists pull the same rabbits out of their hats as far as onstage "personality" is concerned, but not all. I mean, have you ever seen Thom Yorke have a near-epileptic fit onstage? It's certainly not everybody's cup of tea, but he <i>does</i> differentiate himself by performing in an unusual way. For more examples, see newcomer Jamie Cullum's antics, or go see a Ben Folds live show, which usually includes various silly faces made at the audience, stools being thrown at the keyboard, and Ben directing the crowd like a choir from atop the piano. All's I'm saying is pointing ain't the only game in town.

I suspect that the ones that can actually sing didn't just wake up one morning and think, "I think I'll be a singer now". The people that make it to the end (though the music style makes me dry heave) are fairly talented, most of them must have worked hard before Idol came along to be that polished. In other words I'd be shocked if they hadn't busked and played in crappy bars like everyone else. The beauty of this system is if they are talentless hacks winning american Idol won't help much in the long run, it's just a boost and any musician would be an idiot not to take an opportunity like that.

Also true... mostly. It is highly unlikely the finalists hadn't sung a note before their auditions. I shouldn't generalize. Still, that being said...

I suppose my qualm is that, whenever I flick by the show, I immediately think how much <i>less cool</i> someone like Jimi Hendrix would be if he had been "discovered" via glorified corporate talent show. I don't want this to become the machinery by which new artists emerge/undergo creation.

"All right, kids! Text message your vote for Jimi Hendrix or Clay Aiken! Oh yeah, and be sure to go to our website, www.satansmusicwarehouse.com, where you can vote on what product the winner should hawk first! And stay tuned for an all new 24 coming up next on Fox..."

Fuck that. I want people with fucking souls. To my way of thinking, American Idol has simply sped up the process by which artists sell out. Now you can become a gigantic whore before you're even famous!

It's like the People's Choice Awards, where "the people" get to choose from three nominees (usually: Shit, Shit, and Even Worse Shit) and the winner is then christened the "People's Choice" as if that means something. Mmmm, the <i>people's</i> choice. You can just smell the fragrant scent of democracy, can't you?

But maybe that's just me. Heh.

*Whew* Where's the Tylenol? I need to stop getting so worked up. Didn't mean to sound like I was attacking buffy there. Everything's OK. Go back to what you were doing. I'm just in a mood. :D

Josh

This is the bottom line to me. The only entertaining part of the show are the early try-outs and thats just because I get a guilty pleasure out of seeing truly terrible performers make asses out of themselves on international tv.

Fuck that. I want people with fucking souls. To my way of thinking, American Idol has simply sped up the process by which artists sell out. Now you can become a gigantic whore before you're even famous!

I've never understood the term "sell out", anyone that advertises or sells their music is technically selling out. It seems to me people are pretty selective about what selling out actually means when it applies to their favorite bands. I agree that american idol, the program, is souless and couldn't care less about music but I doubt that's the case for the majority of the artists. If hendix started like this, winning a contest doing cheesy top 40 covers and then took the opportunity provided by the tv program to turn around and do music the way he wanted, I'd have even more respect for him. It's not American Idol that I'm trying to defend really, it's the artists.

It just doesn't make sense to me to knock people for taking an opportunity to be heard when they're aspiring to be in a buisness that REQUIRES being heard.

This is the bottom line to me. The only entertaining part of the show are the early try-outs and thats just because I get a guilty pleasure out of seeing truly terrible performers make asses out of themselves on international tv.

No argument here. :D

I've never understood the term "sell out", anyone that advertises or sells their music is technically selling out. It seems to me people are pretty selective about what selling out actually means when it applies to their favorite bands.

Surely everyone has different definitions of what it means to "sell out." I'll grant you that people offer more slack to their favorites in this arena, but it's fairly clear by the way an artist manages his career whether or not he's truly a lover of music and creativity or just money. American Idol is not really a talent show; it's a who-wants-to-be-famous competition. Same as any other reality program. It's the low, low road.

American Idol, being <i>automatically</i> more about style than substance, would not be a venue any real artist would choose to utilize in the first place. After all, any unique talent, as I said, would be instantly disqualified anyway by virtue of being outstanding.

Of course being in the music business requires selling records, but there's a difference between putting one's product out there in an uncompromising fashion and jumping at the first chance to hawk Coke because another million dollars sounds cool. And yeah, if Radiohead started doing Pepsi ads, I may still buy their albums (or most likely download, sans the guilt), but I'll highly doubt their sincerity when they say it's all about the music.

"When you do an ad, there is a price on your head, everything you say is suspect, and every word that comes out of your mouth is now like a turd falling into my drink." - Bill Hicks

If hendix started like this, winning a contest doing cheesy top 40 covers and then took the opportunity provided by the tv program to turn around and do music the way he wanted, I'd have even more respect for him. It's not American Idol that I'm trying to defend really, it's the artists.

A mighty big if there. Do you honestly think American Idol could ever be the springboard for an artist to do anything except fit snugly into the preconceived mold and marketing strategy set up for him the moment he became a finalist?

It just doesn't make sense to me to knock people for taking an opportunity to be heard when they're aspiring to be in a buisness that REQUIRES being heard.

I'm not knocking them down because they want to be heard. I'm criticizing their methods for getting there. If I thought I was truly talented and had something to say artistically, I sure as hell wouldn't use American Idol to get there and immediately tether myself contractually to the whims of Simon Cowell's record company. There are different, albeit harder, roads to the top, I'd say.

What if Stanley Kubrick had said, "Hey, I think I could be a good director. I want to make a film." And instead of cobbling together money and taking out loans to create his own little low-budget masterpieces (as <i>he</i> saw fit), he entered a big corporate contest where he immediately signed off on everything that made him unique and agreed to produce a sappy romantic comedy with Sandra Bullock to compete for the votes of pre-teen girls. Somehow it wouldn't be the same, ya know?

Josh

What if David Lynch or Stanley Kubrick had said, "Hey, I think I could be a good director. I want to make a film." And instead of cobbling together money and taking out loans to create their own little low-budget masterpieces (as <i>they</i> saw fit), they entered a big corporate contest where they immediately signed off on everything that made them unique and agreed to produce a sappy romantic comedy with Sandra Bullock to compete for the votes of pre-teen girls. Somehow it wouldn't be the same, ya know?

If it payed the bills and opened a few doors along the way, allowing them to make what they wanted after I would be all for it. My favorite actors are the ones that rotate between blockbusters and indie films, I think thats a brilliant way to manage a career if you're lucky enough to be able to pull it off. Music is the same for me. I'm not a musician but I am an artist and I have to tell ya, that stuff about scrimping and hoping and living in a car for years is all very romantic but 90% of us will die having never made even a tiny impact. I'd take ANY opportunity to springboard my career. If there were some bizarre contract that said they owned me for 15 years or something obviously thats different but a one shot deal that opens a few doors for a short time? Hell yes I'd take it and do it with a smile.

The problem with the "noble, starving artist" concept is that most of us stay starving. You're crazy not to take whatever small advantage you can get, it's hard enough as it is.

Surely everyone has different definitions of what it means to "sell out." I'll grant you that people offer more slack to their favorites in this arena, but it's fairly clear by the way an artist manages his career whether or not he's truly a lover of music and creativity or just money.

I could not agree more but that's really my point, this show is essentially a blink of an eye in a lifetime. It's what they do after that will show if they're "sell outs", not being on the program to begin with.

A few things ...

If you've seen the VH1 special on Simon Cowell ... dude's made hit records with the WWF superstars, the Tele-Tubbies, and the Power Rangers. He also gets a cut from every Idol CD. Which leads me to believe he has a vested interest in keeping the talent down. Not completely absent, but he doesn't want a supernova winning. Why? Well, imagine if the reincarnation of '80s Michael Jackson was on the show ... a guy with that much talent could say "Fuck American Idol, and fuck Simon Cowell" and still have a career. A wanker like Clay Aiken, on the other hand, knows damn well whose buttering his bread.

Just - one of Kubrick's first films was a semi-propaganda piece for a longshoreman's union or some shit like that. He also did a documentary about a New Mexico priest who used a plane to travel from parish to parish.

That being said, if Bill Hicks were still alive, don't ya' think the Pepsi ad with Hendrix would've killed him anyways?

Well, imagine if the reincarnation of '80s Michael Jackson was on the show ... a guy with that much talent could say "Fuck American Idol, and fuck Simon Cowell" and still have a career.
No thats not true, because once you audition for american idol they own you and it is illegal for you to do anything in show business without their consent.

If it payed the bills and opened a few doors along the way, allowing them to make what they wanted after I would be all for it. My favorite actors are the ones that rotate between blockbusters and indie films, I think thats a brilliant way to manage a career if you're lucky enough to be able to pull it off. Music is the same for me. I'm not a musician but I am an artist and I have to tell ya, that stuff about scrimping and hoping and living in a car for years is all very romantic but 90% of us will die having never made even a tiny impact. I'd take ANY opportunity to springboard my career. If there were some bizarre contract that said they owned me for 15 years or something obviously thats different but a one shot deal that opens a few doors for a short time? Hell yes I'd take it and do it with a smile.

The problem with the "noble, starving artist" concept is that most of us stay starving. You're crazy not to take whatever small advantage you can get, it's hard enough as it is.

It's a nice way of saying, "Well, big business, you win," bending over, ass cheeks akimbo, and getting fucked over by anyone with a big enough bankroll. I'd rather be a starving artist than a rich jackass any day. Give me Ramen noodles and a soul; it's still a thousand times better than caviar and complete shit.

The problem with your means-justify-the-ends approach here is that any artist appearing on American Idol is a fucking joke already -- why? because the <i>show itself</i> is a fucking joke to start with. It's like beginning one's career as a best-selling vegan cookbook author in a slaughterhouse.

I could not agree more but that's really my point, this show is essentially a blink of an eye in a lifetime. It's what they do after that will show if they're "sell outs", not being on the program to begin with.

OK, well. Be sure to inform me when American Idol produces anything but a soulless corporate suckjob. If it does, then I'll revise my position.

Artists know what they're stepping into the instant they appear on the show. It's not Euclidean geometry. They should understand that no intelligent, discerning listener above the age of 14 will ever take them seriously (artistically speaking) and if they don't, well, it's about like Faust being shocked that a deal with the Devil went awry...

Josh

... a guy with that much talent could say "Fuck American Idol, and fuck Simon Cowell" and still have a career.

Exactly. There is <i>no chance</i> of this happening (see subtext again), and that's why I contend that no self-respecting artist would think of American Idol as a credible launching pad for great music or anything beyond a momentary blip on the radar, a quickie contract with (insert product name), and finally a crushing dive into the waste bin of well-deserved obscurity.

Just - one of Kubrick's first films was a semi-propaganda piece for a longshoreman's union or some shit like that. He also did a documentary about a New Mexico priest who used a plane to travel from parish to parish.

I'm well aware of Kubrick's filmmaking history. His first feature film was <i>Fear and Desire</i> -- one he later disowned and tried to have destroyed, but nonetheless blew most of his money on. He did produce other short pieces, but nothing on the level of, let's say, <i>Girl's Gone Wild: Asses in Miami</i>. I made the comparison to show the difference between charting one's own way, as low-budget as it may be, and blowing all of one's credibility on Day 1 by allowing some boardroom to choose one's "career path."

That being said, if Bill Hicks were still alive, don't ya' think the Pepsi ad with Hendrix would've killed him anyways?

No doubt it would have.... not to mention a <i>second</i> President Bush who's 100X dumber than the first, another war in Iraq, and an American populace that's more willfully ignorant than ever.

Josh

stupid idols i hate reality TV, why hath i become of this horrible affliction

Us poor sods in the UK were the first to have to suffer this dross. They are all just a bunch of Kareoke (pardon spelling?) singers. Lynch that twat Simon Cowell, he started it. Mind you , the last winner in the UK must have been a marketing dream.She must weigh about the same as football team, and i bet she could eat more pies than them.A face like a bag of spanners-what an idol! Funny we don`t here much about her now,thank god

Its all about ratings. Little is done afterwards with them. Thier albulm collects dust in the music store. By the 5th season in American Idol, the record labels won't care about the winners anymore, they just another 15 minute of famer.

It least you're not watching Canadian Idol. At least the american one has decent singers go to the top 100, THe Canadian one is plain hilarious. I watch it for the stupid entertainment value. WHen the actual decent singers arise in the final episodes, I stop watching it. Zach and Simon are sexy, girls.