I seek opinions on a female I've been getting to know recently, below is the story of it all.

I work performing shipping for various clients. I've never had many friends even since my younger years in school. Now that I've gotten out of schooling I find meeting woman to be more or less impossible. Honestly I haven't dated since High School.

Some time ago I began noticing the security officers the building had hired to keep things operational. It was then I first saw Carmen. She was amazingly pretty, her hair was dyed an she seemed very attractive to me. I knew the person training her in her assigned duties (since she'd been recently hired) an took it upon myself to have him introduce us (during his rounds of the building).

So there I am, basically a virgin that sees almost any woman as sexy (provided they are not whales). For some unusual reason Carmen began coming into our branch during the time she was checking the buildings. She started talking to me, then it progressively became more visits, more talk, until finally we began just playfully touching eachother.

It's been months since then and I've failed to see the actual motives for her visits, nor the real girl herself. She may present a facade to me but I am uncertain. My contact with her has been limited to the work environment except for those few instances she has:

1. Asked that I help her move some things to a new apartment
2. Asked for some money (100 dollars) to help her move

Now being a nice fellow and seeing that I live at home I felt it wouldn't be so terribly difficult to loan her the money, also I did help her move.

This is really where my contact ends outside of work with her. Since that time she's not inquired as to whether I'd like to get together, she's not really ever called me (except once when she needed directions, during which I tried hanging up but she said "oh what you don't wanna talk to me?"). You can see my confusion here right?

If she truly enjoyed spending time with me wouldn't she be seeking it after work hours? Am I just a thing to take up her time, an amusing fellow?

Now to help me understand this situation I must give you a little background on the woman herself.

She recently got divorced, her an her husband were seperated for around 5 months. She's been nice, an been somewhat physical with me (touching, etc) but now I've come to find out she also has 3 kids (1 living with his father) and that some other guy is spending time with her during work.

This confuses me greatly since her behavior seemed to me to be genuine, now I am starting to believe she may just enjoy risk an not being alone. What do you guys think of this situation, I know having so many kids in her mid-twenties is not exactly ideal but I'm lonely, an I don't wanna be a virgin anymore :-( Also she's asked me when the last time I had sex was, pretty odd.

This is really where my contact ends outside of work with her. Since that time she's not inquired as to whether I'd like to get together, she's not really ever called me (except once when she needed directions, during which I tried hanging up but she said "oh what you don't wanna talk to me?"). You can see my confusion here right?
No. If you like her, it's your job to make the move. You have to ask her out.


If she truly enjoyed spending time with me wouldn't she be seeking it after work hours? Am I just a thing to take up her time, an amusing fellow?Possibly. But you won't know until you ask her out. It could be just that she is timid and expects you to do something to move the relationship.


She recently got divorced, her an her husband were seperated for around 5 months. She's been nice, an been somewhat physical with me (touching, etc) but now I've come to find out she also has 3 kids (1 living with his father) and that some other guy is spending time with her during work.Well that changes things a bit. You could always just go with what you have already, and try to get at least a one night stand out of it. That way you won't be a virgin anymore, and it will probably boost your confidence quite a bit.

But, I don't know, it's kind of a complicated situation, and obviously you are a better judge of her character than I am, because you know her. You are probably the person who best knows what to do.

Question one: did she pay back the money? If not, she's playing you for a sucker. Forget her.

Question two: She asked directions and you tried to hang up? Why?

Question three:If she truly enjoyed spending time with me wouldn't she be seeking it after work hours? Are you waiting for her to make the first move in this direction? Why aren't you doing it? Ask her out for afternoon coffee or something. It doesn't have to be a full-fledged "date", just a little coffee, or tea, or whatever she'd like.

She recently got divorced, her an her husband were seperated for around 5 months. She's been nice, an been somewhat physical with me (touching, etc) but now I've come to find out she also has 3 kids (1 living with his father) and that some other guy is spending time with her during work. She's spending time with another guy? How intimate? Are they just friends? Do you think you stand a chance against this guy in the romantic battlefield? Do you really want to deal with it? Honestly, she sounds like she's got a bit of baggage.

You say you don't want to be a virgin anymore. You can take care of that with a prostitute and not have any of the emotional minefield you may be pointed at right now. (Don't know if it's legal where you're at.)

But enough about her, what about you? Are you looking for a long-term emotional investment? I'd advise against any pursuit of her at this time. She's back on the field after some down-time and now she wants to play. She's probably not looking for another anchor right now. With kids, she's got plenty to keep her busy and may be just looking for a sugar-daddy. But if you want to test the waters, ask her to that afternoon coffee. If she makes some excuse, forget about it.

Question one: did she pay back the money? If not, she's playing you for a sucker. Forget her.

Answer: No she hasn't paid me back yet, although she claims she will in September when she has paid some other people back. In all honesty the very fact she asked if she could have some time shows trust, but perhaps I'm just being overly silly here maybe she is playing me for a sucker.

Question two: She asked directions and you tried to hang up? Why?

Answer: I tried hanging up after I got her directions because I was interested in seeing her reaction, did she only call for directions or actually want to talk awhile? Appearantly she wanted to chat, but I still have no idea if she cared that much.

Are you waiting for her to make the first move in this direction? Why aren't you doing it?

Answer: I know she's having a hard time emotionally right now and I didn't want to take advantage of that or push myself on her as more then a friend, see I really am a nice guy.

She's spending time with another guy?

Answer: Yes, she also brought him some lunch one day last week, then she came to see me. Confusing huh LOL

How intimate?

Answer: Considering she asked "when's the last time you had sex" when I was texting her I would assume she's interested in having it, LOL Maybe she has already with this fellow!

Are they just friends?

Answer: He went to see her on Sunday, would you go on your off day to see only a friend at work? I know I won't, it's inconvient to me now, I'm tired of seeing her at work.

Do you think you stand a chance against this guy in the romantic battlefield?

Answer: Not really, this guy seems to have more money an more experience.

But enough about her, what about you? Are you looking for a long-term emotional investment?

Answer: I'm just looking for a nice girl that I can get to know, maybe spend time with, an have some fun fooling around with. I wouldn't be against a real relationship but it would also take time so it's not like that's a bad thing. I just doubt her actual motives, I mean what was her reason for having 3 kids in her mid-twenties anyway?

Then of course the second day I knew her I suggested I stop by her desk after work, then she began telling me about alot of things, mostly though she said I was:

Weird for living at home, strange I didn't have a girlfriend, probably good I didn't have a girlfriend because they're only bills, girls are drama queens (yet she has so much it's insane), an mostly I felt like she was trying to convince me to stay away from seeking a relationship. Then I wrote a nice letter saying thanks for your company but goodbye (in a nicer more eloquent way) an she called up seemingly upset. We talked awhile an she was like "I don't understand the letter" I was like "oh really". After a cute conversation in which she tried convincing me she didn't know I was pursing her I agreed things were good.

Since then she's not really mentioned it.. I guess I'm just in a confusing situation.

I know it's not just about me, but I also know that it is. I want a relationship, even if it's not permanent.

I want a relationship, even if it's not permanent.

as far as i can see, this is the operative statement.
you arent ready for a relationship, if you dont care whether it turns into something larger or longer than just "dating". i dont mean to be harsh, but that is my experience.

i would recommend asking her out, and if she turns you down, just chuckle, and do something silly in response. or even beyond asking her out, just have some flowers sent to her apartment to gauge her reaction the next time she sees you.

you will find out one way or the other. :)

in any case, good luck man!!

Those flowers are a really good idea, thanks! I'll consider it..

sderenzi

EDIT : the woman is on the prowl. she asked you when was the last time you had sex, hm. i think she's looking to have some fun, you need to stop being a pussy and ask her out.

Classic fuck up situation. If you're lucky she might let you support her and her kids. Do as the previous guy said stop acting like a pussy, only find someone better.
Think of the best case scenario, you will get some pussy but be in a loving relationship with a money extracting bitch plus 3 little versions of her, do you really want that?

No I guess you're right man, I wouldn't want to get involved with a woman that had so many kids so early on in life. You are likely accurate that she extracts money from people, I mean she's really already asked me for that 100 bucks I loaned to her, then also helping her move :-P (she didn't pay for my gas LOL)

God, you see guys, I will never get into a real honest, good relationship, I only get eyed by screw up woman that want to use me.

Yeah join life.
You can find someone better though, if you think about it though any girl that is easy in all likelyhood has been and will continue to be easy.

Then just get out there and try harder.

The reason you only get women who want to use you is because you let them make the first move, and essentially control the relationship. Us nice guys have to actually make an effort. It can be hard, but just keep trying and practicing, and eventually you'll end up in a relationship and lose your virginity.

Yes, I will try :-(

They can smell it. It's like a lion going for the wildebeest with a bad leg. A lot easier to catch and you don't need to put much in.

I think it'll end in tears, but what the hey. Go for it. Few bits of advice though -

1) Don't give her any money. If she asks, make your own excuse up.
2) If you're going out for dinner/drinks, go dutch. If she gets hissy: you're not a couple.
3) Don't get involved with her kids in any way, shape or form.
4) Do things on your terms. Forget the bullshit that she's going through a rough time, you don't want to hurt her feelings, etc. She's been married and divorced, has 3 kids and probably has been through a lot more 'life lessons' than you. She can handle herself. You, on the other hand, need to be careful.

It sounds fucking messy. I just wouldn't.. You might get laid as a result, but there's easier ways to skin a badger. Be aware she might hold it against you, too. How painful could she make your work life, etc?

Anyway. Good luck.

Say, "I think you're wicked hot". Then kiss her.

Just think of that labia dude. ;) We are young.

and the stretch marks.. mmmmmmmmmmm :P

No way spidergoat! Although I like your nickname it's not gonna get me to be that bold, LOL

She can't make my work life painful, I would just quit if she did that (I live at home remember) but aside from this you are right, it is messy.

The fact she can handle herself is just theory, I see no actual fact she is able to take care of her business. In fact she's already asked me for that 100 bucks, to help her move, an she even brought those kids by once because she couldn't find a babysitter!

I'll admitt she has guts, to bring her kids on over here because she had no babysitter was gutsy, an this was only for a few hours while I finished working, she took them with her to the other building afterwards.

I admitt to being shocked initially that she'd bring them here, but ehh I kinda understand why she did. I don't hate kids, I just don't think it's logical to screw myself over so soon in life.

So I guess I must just try ignoring her, although she's making it terribly difficult because she comes by during work hours an basically drives me insane (hormonely)

Just tell her the truth, but spice it up with a little bs.

You think it's best not to hang around so much, because you like her, but the situation isn't really conducive to how things should be: she's just gone through a divorce (you're strong, i know that, but personally i'm not willing to get involved so soon), she has kids (maybe best not mention that one), you work in the same place (could be messy).

If you want to nail the lid on the coffin, tell her you're sexually confused. You've talked to your priest about it and decided that a course might be best, to make you 'better' again. In fact, pretend to be this guy - http://www.anotherway.com/pages/joe_d.html

Then just get out there and try harder.

The reason you only get women who want to use you is because you let them make the first move, and essentially control the relationship.


Bingo.

Face it, you're gonna get rejected...I get rejected all the time too but once in a while I dupe some woman into thinking im charming.

Learn to make humor your best friend, works way better during awkward moments than crying or running away.

ok, so whatever is the reason that you havent been laid yet, is in the past or forget about that fact, and dont be fucking concious of the fact ( i am using the "F" word on purpose to emphasize on the fact that it would only bog you down with women).

Let me tell you a simple fact: if you dont ask straightforward and simple questions as to what is in your mind, women will never answer or say anything to imply otherwise (i have had tomboy type girls shying away from asking guys out simply because they couldnt, you know what i mean?)

Women like confidence (oh god, isnt that a hackneyed expression? well may be so; but honestly, think of it this way : women are like children, they want to be taken care of ... and lets admit women are very soft or at least some part of their psyche is, i am not being sexist btw, i just love women for what they are), so when you meet her next time, just say/ ask her as what is in her mind and what are you thinking of the relationship.
The reason i am saying so is, because way back in HS when i got started my first crush was with a girl (she was the hottest in class and i was a fat prick and no i am not bragging or making it up) we were very very good friends, and she knew and i knew what we had back then (we discuss now when meet sometimes) but i never said anything to imply that and she never said anything to imply the same to me, women are passive in nature and you have to respect that.

There are other factors at large: if you think that you like her as a friend and dont wanna loose her friendship, then forget it, you are in neutral friends zone. women are brutally honest about that, if you form a non sex orientated but yet passionate relationship with them, they would love you as a friend, oh and btw, i have a lot of female friends whom i kiss and hug (so is that what you are implying by touching then forget that it was close to sexual encounter of any kind....hmmmph strange that rhymes with spookyness :D )

anyways, dont take things VERY seriously, what happens let it be so and by any means you cannot think that you are a looser etc etc etc, if you think or start thinking that way, theres no end to it, so be a party guy (by this i mean go to clubs or bars often and hit on things that you have liked, in my case i like to discuss politics and world affair or philosophy with women, but find someone who really likes what you like, otherwise it"ll be like you have a one night stand and then in the monring you notice that you dont like each other anymore...

if ya need advice, catch me on my AIM id :
xxfmulderxx

PS: where are you from? i am right in bensalem,pa, but will move out to NY in couple of weeks...

Rick

Is it just me, or have there been a lot of "girl advice" threads?

*sigh*

U.S has 6 million more women than men, didnt you hear that on CNN just couple of days ago god dammit?

:D

ps : can someone tell me how could i marry poppy montgomery?

Rick

sderenzi Definitely work on your confidence. zion is spot on with that. Even the most butch of women can't deny a guy who is sure of himself, and no, getting laid is not the magic formula for it.

"There's a girl that I like.
Now that it seems that she likes another guy.
Maybe it's because he's political and stuff.
Maybe I can be political, too."

---Stan "the Darsh" Marsh



Dude. Sounds like you could use a montage.

hi Sedernzi

How are you?

I have to say you are a very brave person telling sciforums about yoru predicament....

As advised earlier man just fuck you conscious and any doubts and ask the girl out!!!

Eg: Hi, Hows it going? Just wondering whether you would like to go otu some time... perhaps after work for a coffee or pizza,...

the last girl i aske out rejected me..... But at the time it felt great that i had the balls to go up to her and ask as befopre that i had been in a relationship for 3 years and did not know what the fuck to do....

Good luck mate and just do it....

Even if you get a knock back atleast your will be pleased you given it a blast.....
Good luck man...

Listen to this one guys. So Carmen came back to see me on Friday when we were both working. She seems flirty but I don't even know if it's real or imagined. She asked me for some help with looking some things up online, which being the NICE GUY that I am I did. Later after we'd been sitting in the chair she asked if I'd massage her, I was like hell yeah LOL

Funny thing is later she came back, then we were joking around an talking about gay people, etc. She asked if I'd mind if my kid were gay, then said "oh why am I asking you, for that to happen you'd need to get to step one". So I was thinking excuse me?! I didn't say anything but we continued joking around, then she said "I know someone that's 50, she doesn't look it though, she could help you out with that problem". Needless to say I wasn't so upset because she was basically being herself, but damn this girls nuts. I mean to say that to me, it's really insensitive I think.

So we joke around but I'm pissed off inside an thinking she is playing around with me.

I'm not sure what to think, but I'm tired so will just not worry about it. A few minutes later she got a call from that guy who came to see her Sunday, she implied he was trying to be all NICE NOW. I don't know what that means, confusing huh?

To much drama.. I dislike people joking about something so painful to contemplate (being a virgin an alone)

Here's a plan.

Next time you see her and you're alone. Grab her, kiss her and take her clothes off. If she isn't into it, stop with the taking her clothes off bit. At all costs though - don't say anything stupid like "Sorry" and don't make any excuses.

Worst case scenario (which isn't that bad, I don't think) - she stops talking to you and it's a little awkward.

Best case scenario - You pop your cherry and lose the 'V' plates.

She asked you to massage her?

No wonder she thinks you are gay. Stop being a pussy and screw her brains out. She wants it.

She wasn't being insensitive. She was telling you, "For that to happen, you'd have to get to step one", which really means, "I've been giving you a lot of signals and you still haven't even made a move on me"

SHE TOLD YOU TO MASSAGER HER....dude, grow some testicles and start asking her if it feels good and then kiss her neck slowly and blow soft air on the back of her neck. Ask her if she likes that, then she's all yours. Once you are nailing her, grab her hair in your hands and F her rough until she is screaming your name.

you really need to stop being a pussy. The girl is giving you a lot of signs and she is going to be bored of you soon.

stop fucking around with being shy.... give that up right now.

so what, if you ask out 30 women, and they all say no... so what.
miss 31 may say yes...... then what matters is whether your worthy of her.


just walk right up... and ask her out.. say.. 'you are beautiful,, please have dinner with me... a movie.. maybe a walk along the beach...'

if you have trouble being manly... try taking 25 miligrams of DHEA, availble in most health food store...... try it and suddenly you will feel extremely manly.
and you will wonder why you have been so shy all this time.

-MT

she probably dropped you because she thought you had lost interest with her

Here's a plan.

Next time you see her and you're alone. Grab her, kiss her and take her clothes off. If she isn't into it, stop with the taking her clothes off bit. At all costs though - don't say anything stupid like "Sorry" and don't make any excuses.

Worst case scenario (which isn't that bad, I don't think) - she stops talking to you and it's a little awkward.

Best case scenario - You pop your cherry and lose the 'V' plates.

Worser Case Scenario-You get busted for sexual assault, get thrown in prison and lose your virginity in ways you don't even want to think about.


Dude, drop her. She's playing around and is insensitive to boot. You don't need that unless you're a glutton for emotional abuse. She doesn't want you by a long shot, she just likes to see you grovelling along after her like a dog begging for a scrap of food that she has no intention of giving.

Be warned, though. She doesn't want to lose her game. Drop her and she'll start coming on all nicey-nicey just to get you back on your knees like a good little slave. Fuck it. Keep her grovelling and don't give up. She isn't worth your time. And if she does talk you into the sack, play it smart, don't trust her if she says she's on the pill, grab a condom anyway.

Wondering just who I was dealing with (in relation to Carmen) I chose to lookup common traits amoung hispanic peoples, notably those of Puerto Rico.

Here is what I found:

Allocentrism (or collectivism): The tendency of Hispanics to put the group’s welfare before their own personal welfare.

- True, she does seem to place importance on this.

Familialism: Individuals’ strong identification with and attachment to their nuclear and extended families and strong feelings of loyalty, reciprocity, and solidarity. This includes Hispanics providing (and accepting) material and emotional support to members of their extended family.

- Yes she has this, although she also doesn't see them as perfect either

Simpatia: The need for behaviors that promote smooth and pleasant social relationships (engendering social harmony).

- I'd say this is what she's been doing with me. She does promote a feeling of pleasantness when around. She also is good at smooth interaction, not being to difficult to get along with.

Power distance (personal respect): Respect and admiration for those perceived to have more power and authority.

- She's demonstrated this by mentioning how there are different classes, working, middle, upper, etc.

Common Traits

While it is difficult to make generalizations about Hispanics, there exist some common traits:

Language: Hispanic immigrants are immediately exposed to the acculturation process, but they are assimilated at different speeds. Many continue to speak Spanish as their first language due to living in Hispanic neighborhoods where newspapers, televisions, signage, etc., are in Spanish.

- It's clear she is all this, she likes reading newspapers alot

Gender roles: While men tend to be the financial providers, women play a key role in home economics, thus in deciding how the family income is spent.

- I am not sure about this, she seems more independant (even though I've loaned her money). It's clear to me she doesn't want to rely on a man, but while this is what she thinks unconsiously she seems to seek out men for support, go figure.

Family size: Hispanics tend to have three children, on average, and consider their extended family and even close friends and associates part of the family. “Mi casa es su casa” (my home is your home) is a sincere conviction and practiced tenet among Hispanics.

- This is so hilarious it's not even funny! She has exactly 3 kids!!! And also when I finished helping her move she said "You're welcome here anytime, thanks". Basically she was sincere an clear I was welcome in her home, lol Creepy it's right huh!

Personal Space: Hispanics enjoy close physical contact with others in social situations.

- That perfectly described how she acts. She does enjoy close physical contact with those around her, LOL This sheds alot of light on her motives, that she basically hasn't any hahaha. She's just naturally touchy-feely.. this is pretty cool stuff huh

if you want a specific women........ good luck.

-MT

Now I may be a newly graduate out of highschool but the ideas are still fresh in my mind so here it goes...

When I got to the part about her borrowing money from you, I originally said to myself, "pwnd". Then I thought back to my previous/current relationship and I thought, well that is a good enough start. I agree to the first reply, it is your responsibilty to make the first move (asking her out).

Now she may have other reasons for spending work time with you other than a need for money/help moving. This might require more time to think about or recognize what is going on. If it looks ok now, why dont you try taking her and her kids out to dinner? Show her you can be a family guy (if thats how you really are lol.) After a few dates (movies/dinner) it might just kinda slip into place and you can easily ask her about being boyfriend/girlfriend.

I sound like a sap saying this but good guys are hard to come by after college for most women so she may have "seen the light" and noticed potential in you to be "mr. right".

My girlfriend is of spanish decent (around 50-60% but more or less spanish) and she has a bit of an attitude problem if things dont always go her way lol. But ive payed attention to her wants and needs and Im able to give her what she wants without having to try so hard.

So like i said, keep at it and everything will turn out alright in the end.

you will either
a) have her become your girlfriend and loose your virginity
b) not have her for a girlfriend but nonetheless learn things you didnt know before

As i see it, its a win-win situation.

Good Luck my friend

I think this women could be sincere in her attraction for you. Bear in mind she has been through a horrendously stressful divorce, when you have kids,believe me there is no such thing as an amicable one. She knows she has baggage, she will know that not many men would take on another man's kids. She's been out of the dating game a while and is blundering and over compensating (I talk from experience!). But it also appears to me that your lack of confidence and body language may not be helping matters much either.
You could have given her a massage, it could have been kept light hearted and easy and not sexual, but you backed off and that shouts rejection.
Talk to her, tell her you're confused with all these conflicting signals that she seems to be giving. Ask her what she wants from you, friendship or something more.

Hey listen to this guys. It turns out Carmen wanted to wear some jewlery (earrings) during her shift (security) and got into an arguement over it with the shift supervisor. It seems she's putting in her 2 weeks notice and quitting. The thing that doesn't make any sense to me is how she can when she's got 2 kids staying with her an lives in an apartment. To me it makes no sense her method of thinking, it's ridiculious not to remove earrings just so you can get fired or quit over it.

So this basically means she won't be trouble for me anymore, she's not going to be around that much so I won't see her really, thus ending my confusions. I did think something like this would eventually happen.. it turns out she was with her pre-ex ex for the 2 days she had off. She turned off her cell phone, her entire time off was spent with him. I think she still loves the guy and maybe will get back together with him. It's funny how things work out isn't it? I should've believed this psychic when she told me the girl was only using me to keep from feeling alone LOL.

She did manage to have me help her type up a letter for her resignation LOL This girls something ehh?!

So the problems now overwith.. in 2 weeks I will never see her again, she'll likely move in with this pre-ex ex and try working things out, but if they can I don't think it's a bad thing because her kids are the main concern there.

not so fast kid, get on your butt, go to her house and console her...

everything's going to be fine, honey (if you could manage to say that) dont worry
...spend some time with her...know what she is like even more...

Rick

Jesus Christ! Why tell him that?

Carmen originally came to speak with me, but I misinterpreted her actions as sexual interest in me, it couldn't have been further from the truth. It turns out being from Puerto Rico heritage they are usually talkitive, physically touchy-feely, and overall like she behaves. A long time ago I realized I was like a ghost to those around me, the only reason she took a notice was because of how lonely she'd been. It just happens that now she's quitting her job at this security company so I'll probably never have a chance to see her. Fate has yet again stepped in to keep me from getting to involved with 1 big mess LOL. She was actually telling me yesterday how she spent her off time with her pre-ex ex. This isn't a surprise to me because I know they have a child together, that he asked her if she wanted to get back together, and that she's likely attracted to him since they'd been together 6 years (yes she's 22 LOL).

I did have some hope Carmen might at least give me a date, but ehh whatever. I think that at her age she must do what's best for her children, although I guess mother an father tried that and it didn't work out to well LOL. It's her life, I'm sure she'll figure things out. The entire reason they'd broke up was because she cheated anyway, haha. Kim thinks she's using me for things, like burning CD's, money I loaned her, etc. Perhaps that's right, but I always knew it would end because fate has a way of getting rid of trouble I have, hehe.

So will I stay Carmens friend? Yeah..

Will I see her outside of work? Probably not since she's so busy and I don't plan on calling her to ask

I should've believed this psychic when she told me the girl was only using me to keep from feeling alone LOL.
exactly, she wanted to be with you and you did nothing, you are bone idle, this is why you have no friends or g/fs whenever they show interest you do not reciprocate it, now if you are not going to listen to any of us stop posting your problems here and learn to be alone because untill you learn how to interact with other people you are going to be a very lonely human being

exactly, she wanted to be with you and you did nothing, you are bone idle, this is why you have no friends or g/fs whenever they show interest you do not reciprocate it, now if you are not going to listen to any of us stop posting your problems here and learn to be alone because untill you learn how to interact with other people you are going to be a very lonely human being
Thats a bit Harsh DevilR

However DevilR has got a point, you jmust be more brave and just think fuck it and go for it.

dont you remeber those Dr peper adverts.....

Whats the worts that can happen.

be brave mate be brave, fuckit nothing venture nothing gained. even if shit goes wrong in the future at kleast you ahve given it a go a go...

better then bumming around do jack shit!!

i dont think it was harsh at all, i have tried nicely before as have many people yet he continues down his own path not listening to a word anyone says

Actually you're right and wrong. Carmen just called me and asked if I'd like to come over today and spend some time with her, she said "I've got nothing going on".

The idea she wanted to be with me was eclipsed by the facts:

1. She was still married and has yet to get a divorce

2. She was flirty, but what we find is people from PR usually are different culturally then we are. This means in her case touchy-feely, cute, etc.

3. I never really spent any freetime with her until now, it was always at work until I helped her move that 1 time.

4. She's got 3 kids, 2 of which live with her. Financially speaking I have nothing to offer her at all. Logically this would be a very strong indicator of her intentions.

She has mentioned interest in reuniting with her pre-ex ex (whom she cheated on). She has mentioned how men only pretend to be friendly in order to try getting sex (something I find logical but also distasteful).

I'm so lonely being a friend with her isn't the end of the world, it's a good thing. Being around a woman either way will help my confidence and give me some more social skills.

I think overall I've been a pouty, stupid fool that has listened to some of the advice posted but just didn't try attacking the girl while we were both working, so chill :-P

Stop thinking so much. It always makes things difficult.

As an aside - if somebody called me and asked if I wanted to go round, just because they had nothing going on, I'd tell them to fuck themselves.

2. She was flirty, but what we find is people from PR usually are different culturally then we are. This means in her case touchy-feely, cute, etc.

It also means she's easy.
For real.

Hahaha, take a look at this letter. I'm going to give it to Carmen. You see the guy that she's with now is her pre-ex ex. I'm a damn virgin that's never had sex, what possible woman on the world would think I wasn't desperate. For this reason even being near her just stings, it hurts to much to even think about. I'd rather be utterly alone then be around someone so sexy and have them tell me about all the men they've been with, or the current one they're sleeping with, haha.

Carmen,

First let me say it was fun having dinner with you and Salvador. As always your company is a unique pleasure to have, one that I truly appreciate.

What I must say is that right now, at this time in my life things are difficult for me emotionally. I really have no idea what I can cope with; of course this has always been a problem I think but I can’t ignore it either.

Being around people in relationships is honestly hurtful, not because of any particular thing but merely because I am not. I know it sounds hard to understand, but honestly I’m not like most of the people you’ll meet. I’ve had difficulties with a lot of basic things everyone else takes for granted. I do wish you the best however the facts are:

1. You’re extremely sensual and alluring
2. Your personality is different from others I’m use to encountering (culturally).
3. We have different ideas of what a relationship is, or even friendship

I’ve listened intently to you, and I know you’re not fond of men trying to act friendly then making passes at you. In respect of this I must honestly say I cannot guarantee I wouldn’t ever try, or even be able to handle being around you. I’m not interested in causing dramas, or actually seeming to be something I’m not. What I’m not is an A-sexual guy that doesn’t admire or notice your beauty and charm. Having said this I think it’s best you go about your life and I go about mine.

I understand you really need a friend right now, I just can’t honestly say I trust myself around you. That’s all there is to say really, but it’s important I tell you now instead of bringing about something later that would inconvenience you or seem awkward.

~ Sam