View Full Version : 1001 Uses for Marmite


Communist Hamster
11-16-04, 10:28 AM
This was suggested in the 'Where are you?' thread, so I thought I'd start it before anyone else did.

So, lets list 1001 uses for marmite!

1. Throw it away, FAR away

Nuttyfish
11-16-04, 10:30 AM
2. Cement
3. Eating (hmm...nah)
4. Having a staring contest

Ghost III
11-16-04, 10:31 AM
5. Too make you go sick

Arditezza
11-16-04, 12:51 PM
"My Mate,
Whose Mate?
My MateóMarmite."

6. Use it for Aid for third-world countries. It's rich in B12 and other B vitamins.
7. Surfboard, Ski or Snowboard wax.
8. Use it to patch up wood paneling or small holes in the roof.

Kunax
11-16-04, 01:07 PM
hmmmm, wonder if i should google marmite :)... nah... not yet anyway

invert_nexus
11-16-04, 01:25 PM
vegemite=marmite lite.
The Men at Work song suddenly becomes clear. Never knew exactly what vegemite was and never even heard of marmite.
So, you brits (and aussies) just love sucking down that bacterial excrement then do you?
Yumm yumm. Good for the tum.
Ick.

guthrie
11-16-04, 01:48 PM
Invert nexus you bastard, you just spoiled more potential for leg pulling and making fun of non UK people.

9) face paint.

Kunax
11-16-04, 01:55 PM
ah could not resist looked it up, marmite sound.... wierd, only you brits would eat that, can i have a taste :)

Arditezza thougth you where american :)

Arditezza
11-16-04, 01:58 PM
I'm Canadian, actually. Stuck in America for the time being, as a slave to the almighty dollar. Two years, and I will be back home in Alberta. I'll actually be home for Christmas for two weeks this year as well. It will be nice to have a white Christmas.

Kunax
11-16-04, 02:37 PM
"Two years, and I will be back home in Alberta" you make it sound like a prison sentance , can't you go home in the weekends and likes.
We all slave for some currancy and atleast you can have a nice christmas :)

Arditezza
11-16-04, 02:39 PM
"Two years, and I will be back home in Alberta" you make it sound like a prison sentance , cannot you go home in the weekends and likes, atleast you can have a nice christmas :)

From here to Edmonton, Alberta is a 38 hour drive or a $600 plane ticket. I cannot go home on weekends. Some days, it does feel like a prison sentence.

Kunax
11-16-04, 02:58 PM
Ouch 38 hours, thats about the same as what it takes to go from northern europe to north italy in the sourth passing true 2-3 countries, things are a bit smaller here, or maybe the world is not so big, i work with a dude born cuba, grew up in New York and now Danish.

alain
11-17-04, 03:45 AM
10 heavy artiellery in a food fight

salann
11-17-04, 07:55 AM
11. Smear it on a worming pill, in an attempt to fool your cat that you're giving it food

slotty
11-17-04, 08:03 AM
vegemite=marmite lite.
The Men at Work song suddenly becomes clear. Never knew exactly what vegemite was and never even heard of marmite.
So, you brits (and aussies) just love sucking down that bacterial excrement then do you?
Yumm yumm. Good for the tum.
Ick.

Marmite = mmmm
Vegimite, at first it tastes like shit, then you wish it was :D

Communist Hamster
11-17-04, 10:48 AM
Kunax,

You don't want to taste it. It's a love/hate thing. Eithere you hate it or you love it. I hate it.

Kunax
11-17-04, 12:48 PM
i belive in tasting just about anything once maybe twice and then later again just to see if it is really possible for something to taste that bad/good.

slotty
11-17-04, 01:34 PM
I luurve marmite! I have a mate in Norway, and every time i go over i have to take marmite-lots of it

Vortexx
11-17-04, 01:47 PM
use as bug repellant lotion

alain
11-17-04, 03:50 PM
13 use as a conversation topic on a forum

Vortexx
11-24-04, 10:37 AM
14 Use it for interrogating insurgants.....

Nuttyfish
11-24-04, 10:50 AM
13 use as a conversation topic on a forum

Hey, who would've thought of that?

15. Throwing at people

My Sexy Blue Feet
11-26-04, 01:59 AM
16. Smearing your feet in it to make them go a weird brown instead of bright sexy blue. For when you need to be undercover, in disguise

Athelwulf
11-26-04, 03:31 AM
17. Wondering what marmite is . . .

slotty
11-26-04, 04:06 AM
Its a yeast extract spread. You spread it on toast as a rule. Its very savory. If you have a snack food called twiglets, its on them . I love the stuff, and like hamster says, you either love it or hate it.

Athelwulf
11-26-04, 04:29 AM
Is it a British thing?

vslayer
11-26-04, 05:09 AM
it was originally made from the scum that stuck to the edge of the pot when cooking whale blubber, as for the origin, i think it was a universal whalers thing

Nuttyfish
11-26-04, 06:37 AM
probably :)

kazakhan
11-26-04, 06:44 AM
We're happy little Vegemites

As bright as bright can be.

We all enjoy our Vegemite

For breakfast, lunch, and tea.

Our mother says we're growing

stronger every single week.

Because we love our Vegemite.

We all adore our Vegemite.

It puts a rose in every cheek!

:D

Blue_UK
11-26-04, 07:33 AM
18. Gluing stuff.

Twiglets Good. Raw marmite bad.

invert_nexus
11-26-04, 06:09 PM
it was originally made from the scum that stuck to the edge of the pot when cooking whale blubber, as for the origin, i think it was a universal whalers thing

Whaling? The pages I found on the subject say it's a byproduct of beer production. In fact, the beer companies pay Marmite to come and clean the crap out of their vats and then Marmite sells that crap to you. So, they're getting paid on both sides. Reminds me of a business in high-population areas where somebody digs a pool or a basement and needs to get rid of the dirt, so they pay someone to truck it off and then the guy that owns the truck just goes across town and sells it to someone who needs fill dirt.

Money for nothing, and your chicks for free. Or is it Marmite for free?


And someone said it was yeast extract? Is that how you say yeast excrement over there? You're eating bacteria shit. Yummy.

My Sexy Blue Feet
11-27-04, 01:13 AM
It's an Australian thing i think

yeah, yeast shit. I can't stand it, it's foul

slotty
11-27-04, 02:23 AM
It's an Australian thing i think

yeah, yeast shit. I can't stand it, it's foul


Vegimite is Australian. Marmite is British. ;)

vslayer
11-27-04, 05:18 AM
accordnig to the vegemite packs here it says it was made by sanitarium NZ, is sanitarium a NZ and OZ thing?

to nexus: now it is made from yeast, the crap from breweries contains a lot of the yeasty stuff they use in marmite.

originally it was whale blubber crap, now it is beer crap

Communist Hamster
11-27-04, 05:30 AM
Marmite is most definately British

vslayer
11-27-04, 05:47 AM
any proof of that?

guthrie
11-27-04, 01:58 PM
I think this ie enough to be going on with:

http://www.spurgeon.org/~phil/marmite.htm

"Vegemite is an Australian product, manufactured by Kraft Foods Ltd, Melbourne, Victoria, Australia, and is generally described by Marmite fans as a weaker version spread than British-produced MarmiteóI can personally back this statement up. Vegemite fans have claimed that it is stronger than some non British-produced Marmite, but that doesn't say much for that "Marmite"."

http://www.guardian.co.uk/netnotes/article/0,6729,748622,00.html

"3. For better or worse the stuff first saw the light of day in 1902, brewed up in Burton-on-Trent as a by-product of beer production. Taste issues aside, Marmite is unarguably rich in B vitamins and fully vegetarian."

So there. Its British. But I still dont like it.

Communist Hamster
11-27-04, 02:54 PM
Seeing as lots of you (from different countries) like marmite, and everyone in Britain hates it, we should make it a principle export

19. As a principle export of Britain
20. As a WMD

invert_nexus
11-28-04, 03:03 AM
21. Covering up the bitter taste of the cyanide.

Roman
11-28-04, 03:18 AM
22. Lubricant

(True Story)

I know this group of tree climbers, and they were recording spacial data of eucalyptus forests in Victoria, Aus, when they accidently left their crossbow out in the rain. They didn't want to spend half a day going back to get more grease, so they were looking around for stuff to loosen the joints, and all they came up with were those little vegemite packets. I heard the crossbow reaked so bad that the dog in customs smelled it, and they all had to get searched.

Dudish dude
12-01-04, 06:36 AM
23.Spreading on toast and then looking at it for a bit untill you eat it (i love it)

man pickle
12-03-04, 05:44 AM
24. Burning stuff

slotty
12-03-04, 06:33 AM
23.Spreading on toast and then looking at it for a bit untill you eat it (i love it)
eating it as i type. don't spread it too thick!

Nuttyfish
12-03-04, 06:35 AM
25. A Weapon of Mass Destruction

Killjoy
12-03-04, 08:24 PM
Weapon of Mass Destruction

Indeed...

Sounds like something commandos used to blow up Reichsbahn tracks during World War 2...

"Right - O, Jenkins... Pass along those Marmite charges and we'll give Jerry a real hotfoot - eh, wot..."

vslayer
12-04-04, 02:34 AM
26. thermal grease

slotty
12-04-04, 02:48 AM
26. thermal grease

Is that an archaic sexual offence? :D

vslayer
12-04-04, 03:24 AM
?? wtf, im talking about the stuff you put between the cpu and the heatsink

slotty
12-04-04, 05:49 AM
Hey whatever flicks your switches v :D

guthrie
12-05-04, 04:54 PM
27. using it instead of tar when tarring and feathering people who post urls to other forums on here.

vslayer
12-06-04, 04:48 AM
28. the less favoured option when faced with marmite or cow shit in a sandwich